Wind Out of My Sail (Part I)....

It started as a nagging pain and I thought it could be due to too much golf. Maybe a little rest was all I needed. But when my left arm started to throb at night and painkillers did not provide enough relief, I suspected something was amiss, as the pain was familiar. It started in the upper arm and radiated towards the shoulder and it was intense when I lay down!

A visit to the orthopaedic surgeon (OS) and an MRI later confirmed what I thought...that I had a torn rotator cuff in my left shoulder. The OS advised it was a full tear that will not heal on its own and I should have it repaired. I decided to seek second and third opinions before making that final decision. The second OS advised that I should have a steroid injection as the pain appeared to affect the tendon more than the cuff. He advised that I should wait 2-3 weeks after the injection before deciding on the next course of action.

The third OS, who specializes in sports injury of the shoulders and knees, did a thorough examination of the shoulder and noted a popping sound which was caused by a spur that had developed as well. He advised against injection as it would only treat the pain and not the underlying cause. In fact, when a tear is involved, he'd rather that nothing be done instead of taking an injection because when there is no pain, the patient may continue doing whatever it is that caused the pain, resulting in further damage, thus complicating the repair.

My options are (a) do nothing and live with the pain and a weakened shoulder, which may degenerate beyond repair with age, even if I give up golf, or (b) have the shoulder repaired. There are two options for repair - open surgery or arthroscopy. It was not very difficult for me to make a decision. I had done my research on the Internet and I am not one to agonize over things that I know will not work...and, by the way, this includes relationships as well!

After discussing the pros and cons of open surgery versus arthroscopy with the doctor, I have decided to go for arthroscopy and will have the procedure done soon - this will be the subject of another post when it is done.

The Butchery of English.......

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetry where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to parambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave nothing to hope for.

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summer suits. Because is a big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

Sign outside a Bangkok ladies hair salon "Best blow job in town"

Ladies Night Out.....

(L to R) : Nori, Audi, Torah, Cherry [Restaurant Manager], Mahani, Irene

This was an outing we had planned for a while but had to be postponed due to conflicting schedules - a "ladies-in-black-night-out"! We finally made it this weekend and we all turned out, as agreed, in our little (not-so-little for some) black dresses, except for dear Torah who simply had to show-off her recently purchased l'il brown dress.

We learnt that trying to get 5 ladies to agree on what to eat was no easy task. The main criteria was the place must be easy to get to, especially with every road in KL choked with traffic on a Saturday night. We finally settled on Gaucho at Chulan Square.

What recession? Saturday night traffic along Jalan Ampang

This joint serves western food, the usual soup, salad, steaks, fish, etc. and the food was good. The Chilean white wine was good too - not too strong. I think it's called Inis, but I'm not sure now. That's what happens when you are past 50, even a good time lasts only overnight in your memory....sad!

While we ate, the owner of the joint, Zack (who is, by the way, Bosnian) came by to chat with us since we made quite a spectacle when we entered the rather quiet place - almost like Men in Black making an appearance! He was very proud to rattle off the list of joints he owns in town and obviously, he seems well-connected. As evidence, photographs of the owner with Tun Mahathir and Datuk Seri Hishamuddin graced the walls.

With Bosnian owner, Zack

After a satisfying meal, we decided to check out Pulse, a hot nightspot for the young at the Grand Millenium Hotel where, we were told, an all-black band was playing. However, being a Saturday night, the place had a cover charge of RM50 per head for patrons. We were indignant...No! we were not going to pay RM50 for a miserable drink just to get our ear drums blasted by loud music, and the musicians were not black! And the thought of jostling our way into that happening crowd did not appeal to us.

We were in the mood to listen to music so it was off to Crossroads at the Concorde Hotel Lobby. This place features 3 different live bands that play non-stop through the night. The music, although just as loud, is more suitable for matured (you will notice I did not say old) folks like us....the bands dish out pop, R&B, local, oldies, etc.

The ever-popular Hard Rock Cafe on a Saturday night

Because it was a Saturday night, the place had standing-room only so we finally settled for a quiet cup of coffee at a cigar place in the hotel. By midnight, eyes started to droop and yawns became more frequent . Since Irene had a flight to catch at 12 noon, we decided to call it a night.

Since it's been quite a while that we had a ladies-night-out, it was enjoyable, albeit, tiring. Thank you girls...yawn! I am still nursing a hangover from too much of a good thing! We'll do it again, maybe for my next birthday?

Safety Tips for Taxi Passengers

The following is a real-life incident that happened to a friend of a friend recently. The details are rather sketchy but suffice to say that there are lessons to be learnt from the incident.

A young expatriate lady hailed a taxi one night and upon reaching her house (in front of the gate), the driver locked all doors and tried to molest her. I don't have details about what he tried to do...but she somehow managed to open the door and as she jumped out, the driver sped away, dragging her for a few meters. She was too shocked to note the registration number of the taxi and the police could not do anything without this information. All she could recall was the driver was a Malay.

As a safety measure, it would be good practice to have an understanding with a friend or family member that anytime you board a taxi, you will text details of the taxi registration number for identification purposes in the event of an incident. It is also a good idea to carry pepper spray for protection and one lady I know keeps hers in her cleavage for easy access in case her handbag is snatched!

This advice applies to guys as well - minus the cleavage bit, of course!

Christmas Carol for 2008

These are difficult times indeed for economies around the world...markets are pointing south, retailers report dismal pre-holiday sales and the CEOs of the US auto industry's Big Three (GM, Chrysler and Ford) are currently on Capitol Hill begging the US Congress for a bail-out to save the US auto industry from total collapse. In keeping with the economic turmoil, the lyrics of a familiar carol have been given a fresh, realistic, update (depending on which country you are from, you can replace "Recession " with "IMF")!

Recession (or IMF) Is Coming To Town

You'd better watch out

You'd better not cry

You'd better keep cash

I'm telling you why

Recession is coming to town.

It's hitting you once,

It's hitting you twice

It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise

Recession is coming to town

It's worthless if you've got shares

It's worthless if you've got bonds

It's safe when you've got cash in hand

So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY

You'd better watch out

You'd better not cry

You'd better keep cash

I'm telling you why

Recession is coming to town!

Finance products are confusing

Finance products are so vague

The banks make you bear the cost of risk

So keep out for goodness sake, OH

You'd better watch out

You'd better not cry

You'd better keep cash

I'm telling you why

Recession is coming to town.

Going by what's happening now, even cash may not be a safe bet...gold is probably the answer...have a Merry Christmas everyone!

James Bond Through The Ages ....The Villians

A James Bond adventure will not be complete without adversaries, including femme fatales. "Goodbye Mr Bond!"....is a line often used by villians when Bond is trapped in a life-and-death situation. Against all odds, however, Agent 007 will somehow manage to extricate himself out of precarious situations. Some of these villians and femme fatales are featured below:

Dr. No

Agent Spalko - From Russia With Love

Goldfinger

Emilio Largo - Thunderball

Ernst Blofeld - You Only Live Twice/Diamonds are Forever/Never Say Never Again/On Her Majestey's Secret Service

Mr Big - Live And Let Die

Francisco Scaramange - The Man With The Golden Gun

Karl Stromberg - The Spy Who Loved Me

Sir Hugo Drax - Moonraker

Aristotle Kritstos - For Your Eyes Only

Octopussy

May Day - A View To A Kill

Gen KosKoz - The Living Daylights

Franz Sanchez - Licence To Kill

Alec Trevelyan - Golden Eye

Elliot Carver - Tomorrow Never Dies

Elektra King - The World Is Not Enough

Gustav Graves - Die Another Day

Le Chiffre - Casino Royale

Dominic Greene - Quantum of Solace

James Bond Through The Ages ....The Bond Girls

They are sexy, sultry and stinging...and they are the Bond Girls. The following is a gallery of the girls who are part of Agent 007's adventure ...

Dr. No - Ursula Andress as Honey Ryder

From Russia With Love - Daniela Bianchi as Tatiana Romanova

Goldfinger - Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore

Thunderball - Claudine Auger as Domino Derval

You Only Live Twice - Mie Hanna as Kissy Suzuki

Diamonds Are Forever - Jill St. John as Tiffany Case

Never Say Never Again - Kim Basinger as Domino Petacchi

On His Majesty's Secret Service - Diana Rigg as Tracy Darco

Live And Let Die - Jane Seymour as Solitaire

The Man With The Golden Gun - Britt Ekland as Mary Goodnight

The Spy Who Loved Me - Barbara Bach as Maj Anya Amasova

Moonraker - Loise Chiles as Holly Goodhead

For Your Eyes Only - Carole Bouquet as Melina Havelock

Octopussy - Maud Adams as Octopussy

A View To A Kill - Stacey Sutton as Tanya Roberts

The Living Daylights - Maryam D'Abo as Kara Milovy

Licence To Kill - Carey Lowell as Pam Bouvier

Golden Eye - Izabella Scorupco as Natalya Simonova

Tomorrow Never Dies - Michelle Yeoh as Wai Lin

The World Is Not Enough - Denise Richards as Christmas Jones

Die Another Day - Halle Berry as Jinx

Casino Royale - Eva Green as Vesper Lynd

Quantum of Solace - Gemma Arterton as Strawberry Fields

James Bond Through The Ages ....Bond Heroes

A photo gallery of James Bond leading men and their films through the ages....

Sean Connery
Dr No
From Russia With Love
Goldfinger
Thunderball
You Only Live Twice
Diamonds Are Forever
Never Say Never Again

George Lazenby

On His Majesty's Secret Service

Roger Moore

Live and Let Die

The Man With The Golden Gun

The Spy Who Loved Me

Moonraker

For Your Eyes Only

Octopussy

A View To A Kill

Timothy Dalton

The Living Daylights

Licence To Kill

Pierce Brosnan

Golden Eye
Tomorrow Never Dies
The World Is Not Enough
Die Another Day

Daniel Craig

Casino Royale

Quantum Of Solace

My vote? Sean Connery....always and forever!