There is a column in the STAR today by Wong Sai Wan, discussing cyber friendship - in particular, Facebook (FB). As most of us know, FB is an Internet networking site similar to Hi5, Bebo and Friendster.
In his column, the author lamented that corporations should not see FB as a waste of time and interfering with employees' work. He advocates that corporations should allow employees to manage and maintain FB as part of their networking. His argument is that after all, networking is one of the tenets of corporate life.
Wong is entitled to his opinion but I respectfully beg to differ. As a seasoned HR practitioner, I do not see how FB can be useful to employees. Yes, corporations expect employees to network but the kind of networking corporations expect and the networking on FB are two different kinds of animals. As someone who was responsible for policy compliance, I have seen too many cases of employees spending too much time on such sites - at the expense of productivity. There is also the risk of introducing viruses when downloading files from unknown sources as well as overloading of the system due to large files being downloaded. Employees can learn more about their corporations through company intranets and although they are more expensive than FB, no policing is required.
Employees should have access to the Internet for it helps in their day-to-day functions but as computers are provided by corporations as business tools, then their usage should be confined to business only; with incidental personal use allowed.
As with any cyber tools, we have to exercise discretion on how it is used. FB is great for keeping in touch with friends and making new ones but cyber friendship also has its pitfalls. Making friends in cyber space should not be any different than making friends in the real world.
The computer merely acts as a vehicle through which we can make friends - just like an introducer in real life. We still have to go through the process of getting to know the other party over time - but I do agree cyberspace has shortened this getting-to-know-you period.
Just take online chatting, for example. In less than ten minutes you can learn a lot about the other party - age, sex, location, interests, family history, etc. Some people hide behind the anonymity of the computer screen, so don't believe everything the other party tells you...take time to find out. Also, be honest and never lie about yourself because if you lie, it would be difficult to remember what you said and somewhere along the line, you will be caught. One great advice for those into cyber friendship; use common sense - if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
For those ladies looking for love in cyberspace, here are some tips. After getting to know the other party and having vetted (to the extent possible) the information given, then it is perhaps time to meet. One cardinal rule - always meet in a public place and in daytime, never in a private place or at night. Another rule - have your own transportation so that you can make your "escape" if you are not comfortable with what you see. It would also be a good idea to tell a friend who you are meeting and where - better still, have the friend or friends "spy" on you in the distance in case you need help.
Keep your conversation light and stay away from heavy stuff like emotions, etc. even if the conversation seemed to be steering that way. Be wary of someone who is full of himself - you know, the type who tells you about all the overseas trips he had in the last year within five minutes of meeting! A good observation is to count the number of times his sentence starts with "I" - this is a good indicator of his narcissism!
Be wary if the dude seems to be all over you, shower you with expensive gifts on the first date or flashes his branded watch or ciggie lighter - remember, if it's too good to be true, it probably is and you cannot really tell if the watch and lighter were purchased in PS (Petaling Street) Boutique! Also, be alert to body language -someone who does not look at you in the face when talking is probably lying and if he is constantly checking his watch, he is either bored with you, or has another date/wife waiting for him ):
Keep your first date short...even if you think he is the one, don't rush...take your time. If he is interested to pursue the friendship, he will call. But what if he doesn't, you ask? Well, then, my friend, don't waste your time - he is definitely not for you!
Whilst the Internet offers great tools for us to make new friends - one should not totally discard the good old-fashioned way of getting to know someone. Use your common sense and as women, trust your gut feel. Watch for red flags and don't make excuses for them simply because you so badly want to know the person - better to be safe than sorry. There are couples who meet their life partners in cyberspace but there are also many stories of ladies getting into trouble because they did not use common sense.
Happy surfing!
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