The Broken Bus Stop

 At a traffic light stop on my way home, an old lady knocked on my window and asked if I could give her a ride to her home which is on the way to where I was heading.  She said she had just attended Church and was trying to catch a bus home, but her knees hurt from arthritis.  I almost asked her why not call for a Grab ride but decided against it.  Hesitant at first, I agreed to give her a ride as she looked desperate.

Once inside the car, she started telling me her life story without me even asking.  Her name is Dorothy Lee, 75 years old, unmarried, worked her entire life as a kitchen hand in Singapore hotels and saved enough money to buy a house after retiring.  Her only close relatives now are a couple of nieces/nephews who are now too busy with their own lives and they have not called/visited as often as they used to.  As I listened to her the thought crossed my mind that here is one lonely soul who needed someone to talk to.

She asked me to drop her off at the "broken bus stop".  It was a bus stop that had been knocked down by a lorry and all that's left is a blue slab to indicate where it once stood.  Before alighting, she asked me if I live alone and I answered in the affirmative.  She then thanked me for the ride and said "I hope our lives will not be like this broken bus stop".  

Thank you Dorothy for that sobering analogy.  Yes, life can indeed be a broken bus stop....once standing strong and providing shelter but now just a broken slab of cement overrun by the useless weeds of time!

 

The Long And Winding Road

The road is long and winding
A road I've walked alone.

With decades of suffering
No one could have known

I laughed, lived and pretended

That everything was swell

But I end up empty hearted

And not a soul could tell 

The scars of pain and sorrow

I carried in my heart

And hoping that tomorrow

Would be a new start

To the Almighty I pray

For the strength to carry on

Would it always be this way

I see emptiness beyond

The long and winding road

Fraught with thorns and tears

Must I carry this load 

Through my remaining years

Our Song....

 

I Am A Rock

I am a rock
I am an island
And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries.....

(Simon & Garfunkel)

Reminiscing

#wheredidtheyearsgo
#inreflectivemood

#beentheredonethat

Batu Berendam Airport, Malacca circa 1980

Jumpmaster Rating (Responsible for Despatching Students Off A Jump Plane)

Asean Parachuting Championship, Bogor, Indonesia (Circa 1982)

Royal Command Performance, Sg Besi Air Force Base (Circa 1983)

Skydive over Marana, Arizona (Circa 1984)

Mount Kinabalu, August 31, 1981

Haj - November 2009

Royal Lake Club Golf Trip - Surabaya (2013)

Royal Pines Golf Resort, Gold Coast (2012)

August 13, 1989

Allahyarham Hj Muhandes bin Hj Mohamed

(July 6, 1942 - August 13, 1989)

August 13, 1989
Forever etched in my mind
The day my world fell apart
And left me with a shattered heart

I went through the motions
Shocked, numbed and broken
How would I carry on
Now that you're gone

A young child who turned four
Without the ayah he adored
What would his future be
It would be all up to me

Ya Allah, please make me strong
For the road ahead would be long
Give me the wisdom and foresight
To know what's wrong and right

Twenty five years have passed by
I went through lows and highs
With sheer will and determination
To fulfill my obligations

A perfect mother I may not have been
I did the best within my means
To fulfill the promise that I made
Though deep inside I was afraid

Ya Allah, I ask of you
For health and strength to continue
This journey that I must make
And to learn from my mistakes

Al-fatihah...semoga roh mu ditempatkan bersama orang yang soleh dan Jannah untuk balasan amalan mu

Life's A Raging Sea

A lone ship in a raging sea
In search of a safe harbour
With hopes of finding a lee
To ride out the cruel weather

Battered by the pounding waves
Drifting, lost, and lonely
Fuelled by hopes and prayers
Faith in the Him, the Almighty

Emptiness beyond the horizon
With ne’er a ship in sight
Wondering if I could go on
Against this brutal might

A test of grit and determination
And strength I’ve never known
Journeying to an unknown destination
A journey I must make alone

A beacon of light appears
A beacon of hope and salvation
But alas, through eyes filled with tears
Tis only a fragment of my imagination

Dare I continue this journey?
Of a life that must go on
A life of pain and tragedy
Wondering what lies beyond

With newfound strength….a direction, at last
And a dauntless will to go on
For life’s too short to dwell on the past
The darkest hour is before the dawn

Relationships

(Relationship Mind Map by: Adam Sicinski)

I have often wondered what are the criterion for an ideal relationship between two people who profess to love each other. Is it the similarities that they share, the differences that make them individuals or something in between? It would indeed be boring if your partner likes exactly everything that you like. Likewise, if there are too many differences between them, it would indeed be tough to enjoy each other’s company. If the answer is “something in between”, how do you decide what’s that “something”?

I am one who values my independence to be able to enjoy the company of friends once in a while, instead of being with the same person (even if he is my partner) all the time. I find exclusivity suffocating. Being an Aquarian, I am a free-spirited individual and believe that if I am given the freedom to be myself, I would flourish but if I am reined in, I resent the person reining me and over time, that resentment would show through.

Likewise, I would give my partner free rein to enjoy the company of his friends once in a while, within limits. By the way, these limits apply both ways. In other words, it is freedom to enjoy the company of others but one that is based on trust. Trust is the central tenet to a successful relationship and once that trust is betrayed, I find it difficult to forgive, let alone forget. I feel so strongly about this that I am sure if betrayed, I would want out, without a second thought.

Now, back to that “something” in between. It is hard to define but I think to get the relationship on the right footing, both parties must discuss early in their relationship what their similarities and differences are. Where there are differences, both must be willing to adapt/adjust to the extent that the differences become more palatable to the other. However, the idea is not to adapt/adjust to the point that you become exactly what your partner wants you to be because then, you are no longer yourself.

Another important criteria for me is a partner who is willing to share household chores as I am not particularly domesticated. Sharing such chores will definitely help in bonding. If he is not willing to do so, then a live-in maid would help because a tired wife would not be an ideal partner for intimacy at night.

Communication is also key to a successful relationship because we cannot expect to be mind readers to “know” what the other party wants. It is important to communicate what you want and how you feel about any issue in a positive way, without attacking the other party. Contentious issues are best not discussed in the heat of the moment for it can lead to hurtful words that you don’t mean...difficult as it may be, give it some time and you will find that it is easier to get your point across when you are not angry.

Last but not least, intimacy is also important. My idea of an ideal relationship is one where both partners are not ashamed to verbalize and show their feelings for each other. It would be disappointing to show intimacy to someone who freezes up or behaves like a robot.

A certain degree of freedom based on mutual trust, sharing household chores, open communication, being able to discuss contentious issues in a rational manner and intimacy - are these the ingredients of a successful relationship? Not really, for there are other little things that, if they are missing, could result in BIG issues....aahh, the complexities of life!

In The Still of the Night...

I am watching a rerun of the movies; a reflection of my life...the joys I had known, the emotional and physical pain I had endured and people whose paths I had crossed. A journey fraught with bumps and bruises – lessons learnt the hard way that I will remember forever…in the still of the night!

“I have been a rover
I have walked alone
Turned a hundred highways
Never found a home
Still, in all I’m happy
Reason is, you see…
Once in a while along the way
Love’s been good to me…”

Courage.....

Please, give me the courage

To travel this lonely road
Through the peaks and valleys
And the burden of a heavy load

Courage to love again
With trust that is rare to find
To find my way again
And not go on being blind

Courage to accept weaknesses
And frailties of human nature
To give without expecting
To receive a similar gesture

Courage to say the things
I truly, truly, feel
Instead of keeping silent
Because I don't know what's real

Courage to lend a hand
Although I am not strong
To make life a little easier
For those plodding along

Courage to put on a brave face

When the world weighs me down

To be there for those who need me

With a smile, and not a frown

Courage to walk away

From someone that I hold dear

And not try to hold on

To something no longer here

Courage to forgive and forget
And not lose my self-respect
For sometimes, it's not their fault
To not be what I expect

Courage to be myself
And not who I should be
To live my life as I see it right
To love, to have, and still be free