Rusty Rollers

It is a game I used to excel at more than twenty years ago and I have many trophies to show for my competitive standing back then. So, when a friend asked me to participate in a ten-pin bowling competition last week-end, I did not hesitate. I managed to coax two of my friends, Audie and Mahani, to join me in forming a team.

My bowling bag, which can accommodate two balls, had to be dusted and cleaned as it had gathered dust and cobwebs in the store room. Two balls, why would one need two balls to bowl? Well, according to the pros, one ball is for strikes and the other for spares but it turned out that strikes and spares were few and far between on that day.

We went to the bowling alley early so as to practice because we did not want to be an embarassment since all of us had not bowled for years. Our scores were not too bad so we were really looking forward to the competition.

There were 100 competitors, men and women, and the women were given a handicap of 20 pinfalls as we had to compete with the men. Each competitor had to bowl 3 games.

We did not do too badly considering that we were competing against regular bowlers but during the second game, aches and pains started to surface. It was a torture to finish the third game and boy, were we glad when we did!

Including the practice games, I had bowled a total of 5 games. Assuming that I needed two throws for every frame and spared in the last frame, I would have swung my ball 105 times for the 5 games. To put it in perspective, swinging a 13-pounder 105 times and balancing on one knee when delivering the ball can cause all kinds of aches - to the thighs, upper arms, neck and back!

The real impact of bowling 5 games was felt the next day - I came down with the flu while the other two had to take painkillers just to be able to move around. Moving around felt like a robot due to all the stiffness!

Much as we had a lot of fun during the game, we all unanimously agreed on one thing - NEVER AGAIN!

My Favorite Things

Those of you who had seen the movie "Sound of Music" must remember the song "My Favorite Things" in that movie made popular by actress/singer, Julie Andrews. Ms. Andrews turned 69 recently and to commemorate her birthday, she made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP). One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favorite Things" with lyrics appropriate for a 69er. Sing it, and you will see how hilarious the song is!

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up in string,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,

These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, when the bones creak,

When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,

When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

Then I remember the great life I've had,

And then I don't feel so bad.

Well, Ms. Andrews....the truth sure hurts....ouch!

Recession...

While developing countries are now gripped by the worst recession since the Great Depression, Malaysians are being lulled into a false sense of security with our government assuring us that our economic fundamentals are strong, tourist arrivals from the USA have not declined, etc. so let us hope that the rakyat will not be in for a rude shock when (more likely than "if") it happens...

Hell Hath No Fury...

The current global economic crisis has caused many people's lives to turn upside down - from home foreclosures, suicide due to failed investments, the unravelling of investments scams and most recently, the death of a woman involved in a 5-corner fight over the affection of a lover.

A wealthy Chinese enterpreneur by the name of Fan is married and has five (yes, you heard it right, five) mistresses! Each is provided with a monthly allowance of 5,000 yuan (RM2662) and rent-free apartment. When Fan's business ran into trouble due to the financial crisis, he decided to dump all but one of the mistresses - but which one should he keep?

Fan thought of a novel way to lay off four of the women. He held a beauty contest at a private hotel judged by an instructor from a modelling agency. None of the women knew about his intentions. A waitress by the name of Yu was the first woman to be eliminated and the contest was eventually won by a woman named Liu after she won the drinking round.

Yu decided to exact revenge when she was told that she was being dismissed and the apartment she lived in was to be sold. During a group outing, she drove Fan and her four rivals off a mountain road. Yu was killed in the accident while Fan and the four other women were hospitalized. A letter written by Yu was found after the accident which led to the unravelling of the bizarre contest.

Fan paid Yu's parents 580,000 yuan (RM308,847) after the accident as compensation for her death. His wife divorced him and the other four mistresses also left him.

The moral of the story?.....hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

On Divorce...

It seems that technology is touching every aspect of our lives - even divorces! Neil Brady, a 39-year-old Briton ended his six-year marriage by making an announcement on Facebook. His wife, Emma Brady, 35, only found out about her husband’s intentions when he changed his Facebook status to read, “Neil Brady has ended his marriage to Emma Brady”. Emma only found out after a friend in Denmark called her up to see how she was coping.

Following this report in the local papers, Syariah lawyers have weighed in. And their views? Well, I am sure Muslim men would simply love this - as long as the words used leave no doubt as to the intent (such as I hereby divorce you with talak satu), then the declaration is accepted. It does not matter what medium is used to communicate the divorce (SMS or Facebook)...as long as it is communicated and the intent is clear, then it is acceptable. The issue of time lapse does not arise. If the husband posted his message on Facebook and the wife reads it a week later, the divorce is effective on the date of posting - how much easier can it get???

To my fellow Muslim sisters who are getting divorced, remember Ivana Trump's famous line - "Dont get mean - get everything!" Unfortunately, in many Muslim divorce cases, wives get a raw deal. Enforcement of Syariah court awards is lax and often times, the wife is left to shoulder the burden of raising the children. One lady's solution was to give up custody of children to her ex to make him financially responsible for the children - SAD!

Financial Smooth Operators!

Kazutsugi Nami - Japan's Bernie Madoff

The current financial crisis hitting the globe has unravelled yet another financial scam - this time in Japan. Kazutsugi Nami, chairman of a now-bankrupt bedding company, L&G (Ladies & Gentlemen!) has scammed about 37 thousand investors of US$1.4 billion in the biggest ever pyramid scheme with promises of building a paradise on Earth for investors, some of whom called him "divine".

Nami wooed his so-called 'shareholders' by building a cult-like status, saying he had a 'divine decree' to 'eliminate poverty from this world'. Nami was so charismatic that investors worshipped a 'Nami cult'. Investors were promised annual returns on investments of 36%! Most of the victims were housewives and elderly investors, some of whom risked all of their retirement savings.

For investments of 100,000 Yen and above, Nami introduced a virtual currency called enten (divine yen) that could be loaded on to mobile phones and used to purchase items from an Internet site. However, in 2007, the Company informed all investors that their investments would be converted to enten and this led to a deluge of requests to cancel contracts and even lawsuits demanding the return of principal investments.

The parallel between Nami and Bernie Madoff? They were both smooth operators, they moved in the higher echelons of society and they wiped off dreams of gullible investors!

Movie Review - Changeling

This movie is based on a true story of a single mother, Christine Collins, whose only son, Walter, was kidnapped in Los Angeles in the 1920s. The story is about a mother's fight to find a missing son and in the process, she helped expose a corrupt and inept Police Department - the LAPD.

Months after Walter's disappearance, police found a boy who claimed to be Walter. When he was reunited with Christine, she was convinced that he was not her son. However, as the reunion took place with the police and the press present, she had no choice but to take the boy home.

As Christine continued her efforts to find Walter and decided to give a press conference, she became an inconvenience and embarrassment for LAPD. The powers that be slandered her as an unfit mother and eventually, she was forcibly incarcerated in a mental hospital where she had to endure inhumane treatment as she fought to prove that she did not belong there.

Christine's cause was championed by a local activist, Reverend Briegleb, who hosted a radio talk show. Through the show, he helped to garner public support for LAPD to find the real Walter.

The case took a strange twist when a young boy was arrested for illegally entering the country. Before being deported to Canada, he confessed that he had helped a serial killer kill young boys on a remote ranch - could Walter be one of the serial killer's victims?

Angeline Jolie gave a convincingly moving performance as Christine Collins. She was able to portray the pain and torment of losing one's son and being ridiculed by the powers that be as one who was mentally unfit. This is a movie worth seeing.

Movie Review - Slumdog Millionaire

SM is the story of an 18-year old Mumbai slum dweller, Jamal Malik, who participated in the Indian version of the TV reality show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire." He was just one question away from winning a staggering 20 million Rupees. When the show broke away for the night, he was arrested by police on suspicion of cheating for it was unthinkable that someone who grew up in the slums could know so much.

To prove his innocence, Jamal recounted the adventures of his life in the slums with his brother Salim and a girl called Latika, the love of his life. By sheer coincidence, the events of his life somehow provided the answers to the questions that were asked on the show. So the movie scenes alternate between Jamal on the game show and the story of his life, in flashbacks - by the way, in case you don't know, no Bollywood movie is complete without flashbacks!

The verdict? SM is an over-rated movie with a far-fetched storyline cleverly marketed by Westerners.

Love Is In The Air

You know Valentine's Day is around the corner when you notice newspapers featuring restaurants, gift ideas and special offers on all kinds of things from cruises to home spa treatments. Very soon, too, there will be Valentine's message contests in newspapers and the rush to register marriages on February 14.

However, I sometimes wonder if people who jump on the "Special Day" bandwagon realize that appreciating someone - be they mums, dads, teachers or partners - is something we should do not only on that one special day but all the time. How many times have we taken people we care about for granted, never say "thank you" or "I am sorry" when the situation calls for it and allow nagging hurt to fester into discontent and anger? Thoughtful words and actions do more for a relationship than an expensive once-a-year event.

On a lighter note, my most memorable Valentine's dinner was one that I had with my then five-year old son. Most of the patrons in the restaurant were couples, although there were a couple of families. All ladies, including myself, received a rose each and my "date" was given a balloon. However, my Valentine's dinner was cut short when, at around 9.30 p.m., my "date" fell asleep! That aside, I still cherised that time spent with my son....thank you Nash for being my special Valentine!

Power is A Great Attraction...

I have a pal who thinks that US President Barack Obama is the "most gorgeous man" on the Planet since George Clooney and Bradd Pitt! To be honest, in my view, Obama is really a-pleasant-looking-average-Joe, if you don't know who he is. The reason she perceives him as gorgeous is because she is actually attracted to the power that he has - after all, doesn't he hold the most powerful job on earth? And he is endowed with a powerful brain and great oratory skills too!

In Jakarta, there is a magazine photographer, Ilham Anas, who bears a striking resemblance to Barack Obama (see pics above). Now, if Obama had not been President, would you actually notice Ilham walking down the street? Of course not! If not for Obama, Ilham would still be an unknown photographer - instead, today, he has earned a meal ticket for a lifetime - or, at least, for the next four years! Ilham now needs to hire a PR team to cash in on his new-found fame!

The Strength of The Human Spirit

Their tiny, frail, bodies splattered with shrapnel, face covered with blood from a head wound, their haunting screams of pain a testimony to the savagery of a senseless war. They do not know it yet but their parents and siblings have been wiped out by Israeli bombs. They are in pain and alone in this horrible world - however, the wheels of life will continue to turn and most will pull through and survive and some will morph into warped adults.

Deep in the recesses of time, in 1968, a 10-year old Vietnamese girl became the face of the untold suffering endured by the Vietnamese people during the Vietnam War. She was photographed naked and running after being burned by Napalm bomb dropped by US soldiers. The photograph won the Pulitzer prize. Today, she is happily married with a family.

Twenty years ago, on that fateful day when I was thrown into the abyss of a dark, lonely, world. Nothing prepared me for the challenges...it was swim or sink and I chose to swim; against the raging currents that can break boulders into smithereens. I stumbled, fell and picked myself up again and again - resolute to overcome the bumps and bruises.

Most of us have endured pain - physical, emotional, or both. But the human spirit can endure difficulties that we would not be able to do under normal circumstances. When faced with a situation where survival is at stake, we dig into ourselves and find that last ounce of courage to overcome odds and strive to pick ourselves up.

The strength of the human spirit can not only be found in heroes like Mahatma Gandhi, Anne Frank, Nelson Mandela or the ambulance drivers in Gaza who dodge bombs and bullets to save lives. It is also in the wizened fisherman with weather-beaten face when he braves the seas in the dark hours of dawn to bring food to the table, the kacang puteh seller who peddles his wares on street corners and the uneducated single mother with four young children eking out a living on the fringes of society.

We often under-estimate ourselves and only realize our strength when tested. The human spirit is the strongest force there is. As long as our spirit remains unbroken, there is no defeat. In life, spiritual defeat always precedes actual defeat. Guard against laziness, cowardice, impatience, resignation and despair which corrode the human spirit and sow the seeds of defeat.

On Marriage

They say marriage is like a golden cage - those outside wanting to get in and those inside dying to get out!

Birthday Celebration for a Dragon and Horse.....

Thank you gals for organizing a wonderful birthday party....I had a great time and judging from the non-stop dancing, I guess everyone else did too!

Feng Shui Sales Talk

With dire predictions made by seers about the state of the economy in the Year of the Ox, it is interesting to see renowned Feng Shui practitioner, Ms. Lillian Too, making her sales pitch on TV ads.

For those who swear by Feng Shui and believe they need celestial intervention to survive the Year of the Ox, Lillian has offered advice on how to mitigate the "bad forces" that are prevalent in 2009. The answer? Amulets, jade, gold pendants and animal figurines, to name a few, that must be worn or placed in certain directions either at home or the office.

This reminds me of a friend of a friend who sought Feng Shui advice to salvage her faltering marriage. She was advised that there was too much "fire" between them due to their respective zodiac animal and something had to be done to "cool" things somewhat. One would think that a "hot" relationship would certainly be better in a marriage than a "cool" one but no, that is not the case in the realm of Feng Shui.

The recommended cure was a five-tier mini fountain placed in her living room, facing a certain direction. The job came with a heavy price tag (a cool RM6,000) but instead of bringing them together, they were divorced within two years!

The moral of the story? A cool RM6,000 is not enough to cool a hot relationship!

Back To Basics....

It's been two months since my last round of golf and today, I started my journey towards playing a full round again. My shoulder constinues to heal and I am focused on therapy which includes water-based passive movements to strengthen the arm.

To improve my putting, I engaged the services of the Club's resident pro (Bari Beluah) and went back to basics. Just being on the putting green and being able to greet friends who have been wondering about my long absence was exhilarating enough and I plan to practise as regularly as I can.

Since my range of movements are rather limited now, I will concentrate on what I can do and try to do it well...and worry about my swing later...when I can comfortably lift my arm.

The road to full recovery will be a long one but I will get there!

The Year of The Ox

On January 26, we will be ushering the Year of the Ox...the ox being the second animal in the Chinese Zodiac. The Chinese Zodiac consists of a 12-year cycle with each year marked by an animal. The order of the cycle begins with the rat, followed by ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep, monkey, rooster, dog and boar.

The 0rigin of the order is steeped in folklore and one version has it that the animals were invited to a meeting at the emperor's palace and there was plotting and scratching and clawing amongst the animals in their bid to be the first to arrive - ala The Amazing Race!

The kindly ox agreed to carry the scheming rat and the cat on his back to cross a river. However, the rat pushed the cat off the ox's back into a swift current, so the poor cat never made it to the top 12. The rat then jumped off the ox' s back to claim the first spot. The cat and the rat were once good friends but became mortal enemies when the cat did not make it to the top 12 - wonder if the animals learnt from politicians or vice-versa?

Feng Shui masters and soothsayers have predicted that the turbulent Year of the Rat (2008), marked by a global financial crisis, will give way to a more stable Year of the Ox . However, the road to economic recovery is going to be a long one...why are we not surprised?

Feng Shui practitioners maintain the earth is made up of five elements (earth, water, fire, wood and metal) that governs the environment. 2009 will be a "pure earth" year which means that fire will be missing so there will not be a lot of drive to push up the stock market. Markets might rise in the first half but gains could peter out in the second half. The market is predicted to be quite low in the second half - a good time to get ahead of a recovery in 2010!

However, a Japanese research house, the Daiwa Institute, predicted that the Year of the Ox will be disasterous for the stock market as Japan's Nikkei Index saw a drop averaging 11.4% during the last five Years of the Ox.

The saving grace is that US President Obama was born in a "yin earth" year and this, according to soothsayers, should help the global outlook - dare we have the audacity to hope?

It Is Only In Giving That We Receive.......

Some of us born with the five natural senses intact take for granted the gifts we have been bestowed upon creation. Although our senses are "perfect", we still find "imperfections" with our bodies and we desire more - such as higher cheek-bones, fuller lips and more aquiline noses. Some go to great lengths to fix the "imperfections"; resorting to cosmetic surgery and injection of substances that may be harmful to our bodies. Such is the nature of human beings.

For the visually impaired, the basic functions of life that we take for granted are challenges that have to be overcome. But, as resilient human beings, they learn to adapt. Some conditions that lead to blindness are treatable but due to poverty, many have to go through life without being able to see.

The Malaysian Association for the Blind (MAB) was established to empower the visually impaired by providing services and opportunities for greater participation, involvement and integration into society and to promote prevention of blindness. Among others, MAB provides vocational training to equip visually-impaired people with skills that will prepare them for employment.

To encourage the reading habit and enable the blind to acquire knowledge, MAB also provides library services and it has a good collection of books in Braille, audio, as well as print. I had heard through friends that MAB needed more volunteers for the Library and I visited the Library recently to offer my services. Volunteers are needed to type books into Word document for conversion into Braille as well as to read books for conversion into "talking books".

Actually, books can be converted into Braille using a specially-designed typing machine or feeding text into a scanner. However, due to lack of funds, MAB relies on the good, old-fashioned way....typing manuscripts into Word text for conversion into Braille. Typing of books can be done at home or at MAB and recording is done at MAB. Since most volunteers are expatriates and Non-Malays, the Library lacks books in Bahasa Malaysia because there are very few Malays who volunteer.

A Well-Equipped Library

A Volunteer Recording A "Talking Book"

If you have time to spare and would like to volunteer, please contact:

Mr Ramdas Nayar (Asset Executive) at 03 2272 2677 - Ext 129 or ramdas@mab.org.my

Love Happens When You're Not Looking

During a meeting with a long-lost friend recently, I asked her, over coffee, if she is still single. Almost as soon as I asked that question, I regretted ever asking. Linda (not her real name), went on and on about the dearth of eligible men these days! She has tried everything - from introductions through friends and relatives to online personals and even dating agencies. She dreads going home for the upcoming Chinese New Year holidays to visit family in Penang...there would be endless questions about when she would tie the knot, with some well-meaning aunties and other female relatives hinting that her biological clock is running out!

"They think so easy to find a suitable partner meh?...she huffed. " You know ah, nowadays all the men are M&Ms, gays or non-commital bachelors mah!" Seeing my eyes lit up at the mention of M&Ms, Linda immediately shattered my reverie. "M&Ms are not chocolates you know", she said matter-of-factly - "they are acronyms for "Married and Mortgaged"! I certainly know a few of them - some mortgaged to the hilt!

To make her feel better, I told Linda love usually happens when one is not looking. I related to her real-life stories of the most unusual circumstances in which some couples have met and ended up living happily ever after.

Take the case of Ms A. She had accompanied a friend to Alliance Francaise (the French Language School) and while her friend had lessons, Ms A waited at the waiting area. While waiting, she fell asleep on the sofa and a French language tutor passed by and saw her asleep. He was kind enough to offer her a cushion so that she would be more comfortable and from then, the rest is history as they are now married.

Then, there was Ms B who was travelling to Canada for the first time with her sister. Upon arrival, she struggled along with a heavy luggage and was lagging far behind her sister in the queue at the Immigration counter. While in the queue, she suddenly realized that she could not find her passport and she started to frantically rummage through her handbag. She then remembered that she had kept the passport in her carry-on luggage which is a small overnight suitcase stuffed to the brim.

As she opened the suitcase, its contents popped out and were strewn all over the floor. A gentleman in the next queue gallantly came to her aid and helped her to gather clothes, underwear and even a "Dating for Dummies" book and have them repacked into the suitcase. Before they departed, they exchanged email addresses and after a brief long-distance courtship, they were married.

Another too-good-to-be-true story happened to a widow who visited a health center for foot reflexology (massage). Foot reflexology is carried out in open area with rows of reclining chairs lined up next to each other. As she took her seat, she noticed a customer in the next chair enjoying his foot massage, with his eyes closed. Something about his serene, relaxed, look caught her attention and to cut a long story short, he must have felt her gaze for he opened his eyes and introductions followed. They became friends over time and are now married.

As soon as I finished my stories, Linda laughed hilariously. She has a great sense of humor and said to me.... "Aiyah! Knowing my luck ah, if I fall asleep in a public area, I think I will snore. Instead of being given a cushion, I will probably be asked to leave for disturbing the peace mah..ha! ha! ha!"

We had such a good laugh causing some heads to turn so we decided to change subjects and talked about other mundane things. As I made my way to my car at the end of the meeting, I could not help but think that, knowing my luck, if I should decide to have a foot massage, the guy sitting on the next chair at the reflexology center would probably be a toothless Cina apek dressed in singlets and chequered underpants. It would be a bonus indeed if he does not snore while enjoying the massage! Ah well.....you never know!

(Adrenaline Junkie has been single for 20 years and loves nothing more than a good book or a funny movie with a pack of crunchy M&Ms - of the chocolaty kind, of course!).

Farewell for Sandy

Sandy has been on vacation in Malaysia for 2 weeks and during that time, apart from shopping, she had done many things - celebrated X'mas, New Year, tried various food at Food Republic at the Pavillion, had a picnic Malaysian-style, colored her hair, had a massage and reflexology and also managed to have goreng pisang!

Sandy will be leaving for cold, grey, London on January 5 and this week-end, we had a farewell dinner for her. With Chinese New Year just around the corner, we decided that a Chinese dinner would be appropriate and we had a great dinner at Royal Lake Club's Bunga Raya Restaurant.

Yee Sang for a prosperous Year of The Ox!

After dinner, we headed for the Batek Bar where we enjoyed music played by a band. The band played a variety of music including R&B, Pop, Country, and even Malay and Chinese.

Mahani and I could not resist the music and we managed a few dances - this must have been the first time that members had seen someone dancing with an arm in a sling!

"I Will Survive" - Albeit with an arm in a sling!