You Know Times Are Hard When....

Life's Journey...

While I was consoling a bereaved ex-colleague whose husband had passed on, my mobile phone beeped with the message that another friend from way back when also passed on in Kelantan.

This evening, I am going to the hospital to visit a friend's daughter whose newborn baby, her fourth child, was warded due to breathing difficulties and who, hereself, had been warded due to post-partum blues.

The deceased were in their late fifties while the young mother is in her mid-thirties.

The wheel of life goes on...what goes up must come down...the once young and nubile is now old...and the healthy becomes sick. The cycle is unstoppable; we just have to go with the flow...and hope that our time on earth does not come to naught...aah...life's journey!

Rusty Rollers

It is a game I used to excel at more than twenty years ago and I have many trophies to show for my competitive standing back then. So, when a friend asked me to participate in a ten-pin bowling competition last week-end, I did not hesitate. I managed to coax two of my friends, Audie and Mahani, to join me in forming a team.

My bowling bag, which can accommodate two balls, had to be dusted and cleaned as it had gathered dust and cobwebs in the store room. Two balls, why would one need two balls to bowl? Well, according to the pros, one ball is for strikes and the other for spares but it turned out that strikes and spares were few and far between on that day.

We went to the bowling alley early so as to practice because we did not want to be an embarassment since all of us had not bowled for years. Our scores were not too bad so we were really looking forward to the competition.

There were 100 competitors, men and women, and the women were given a handicap of 20 pinfalls as we had to compete with the men. Each competitor had to bowl 3 games.

We did not do too badly considering that we were competing against regular bowlers but during the second game, aches and pains started to surface. It was a torture to finish the third game and boy, were we glad when we did!

Including the practice games, I had bowled a total of 5 games. Assuming that I needed two throws for every frame and spared in the last frame, I would have swung my ball 105 times for the 5 games. To put it in perspective, swinging a 13-pounder 105 times and balancing on one knee when delivering the ball can cause all kinds of aches - to the thighs, upper arms, neck and back!

The real impact of bowling 5 games was felt the next day - I came down with the flu while the other two had to take painkillers just to be able to move around. Moving around felt like a robot due to all the stiffness!

Much as we had a lot of fun during the game, we all unanimously agreed on one thing - NEVER AGAIN!

My Favorite Things

Those of you who had seen the movie "Sound of Music" must remember the song "My Favorite Things" in that movie made popular by actress/singer, Julie Andrews. Ms. Andrews turned 69 recently and to commemorate her birthday, she made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP). One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favorite Things" with lyrics appropriate for a 69er. Sing it, and you will see how hilarious the song is!

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up in string,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,

These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, when the bones creak,

When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,

When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

Then I remember the great life I've had,

And then I don't feel so bad.

Well, Ms. Andrews....the truth sure hurts....ouch!

Recession...

While developing countries are now gripped by the worst recession since the Great Depression, Malaysians are being lulled into a false sense of security with our government assuring us that our economic fundamentals are strong, tourist arrivals from the USA have not declined, etc. so let us hope that the rakyat will not be in for a rude shock when (more likely than "if") it happens...

Hell Hath No Fury...

The current global economic crisis has caused many people's lives to turn upside down - from home foreclosures, suicide due to failed investments, the unravelling of investments scams and most recently, the death of a woman involved in a 5-corner fight over the affection of a lover.

A wealthy Chinese enterpreneur by the name of Fan is married and has five (yes, you heard it right, five) mistresses! Each is provided with a monthly allowance of 5,000 yuan (RM2662) and rent-free apartment. When Fan's business ran into trouble due to the financial crisis, he decided to dump all but one of the mistresses - but which one should he keep?

Fan thought of a novel way to lay off four of the women. He held a beauty contest at a private hotel judged by an instructor from a modelling agency. None of the women knew about his intentions. A waitress by the name of Yu was the first woman to be eliminated and the contest was eventually won by a woman named Liu after she won the drinking round.

Yu decided to exact revenge when she was told that she was being dismissed and the apartment she lived in was to be sold. During a group outing, she drove Fan and her four rivals off a mountain road. Yu was killed in the accident while Fan and the four other women were hospitalized. A letter written by Yu was found after the accident which led to the unravelling of the bizarre contest.

Fan paid Yu's parents 580,000 yuan (RM308,847) after the accident as compensation for her death. His wife divorced him and the other four mistresses also left him.

The moral of the story?.....hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

On Divorce...

It seems that technology is touching every aspect of our lives - even divorces! Neil Brady, a 39-year-old Briton ended his six-year marriage by making an announcement on Facebook. His wife, Emma Brady, 35, only found out about her husband’s intentions when he changed his Facebook status to read, “Neil Brady has ended his marriage to Emma Brady”. Emma only found out after a friend in Denmark called her up to see how she was coping.

Following this report in the local papers, Syariah lawyers have weighed in. And their views? Well, I am sure Muslim men would simply love this - as long as the words used leave no doubt as to the intent (such as I hereby divorce you with talak satu), then the declaration is accepted. It does not matter what medium is used to communicate the divorce (SMS or Facebook)...as long as it is communicated and the intent is clear, then it is acceptable. The issue of time lapse does not arise. If the husband posted his message on Facebook and the wife reads it a week later, the divorce is effective on the date of posting - how much easier can it get???

To my fellow Muslim sisters who are getting divorced, remember Ivana Trump's famous line - "Dont get mean - get everything!" Unfortunately, in many Muslim divorce cases, wives get a raw deal. Enforcement of Syariah court awards is lax and often times, the wife is left to shoulder the burden of raising the children. One lady's solution was to give up custody of children to her ex to make him financially responsible for the children - SAD!

Financial Smooth Operators!

Kazutsugi Nami - Japan's Bernie Madoff

The current financial crisis hitting the globe has unravelled yet another financial scam - this time in Japan. Kazutsugi Nami, chairman of a now-bankrupt bedding company, L&G (Ladies & Gentlemen!) has scammed about 37 thousand investors of US$1.4 billion in the biggest ever pyramid scheme with promises of building a paradise on Earth for investors, some of whom called him "divine".

Nami wooed his so-called 'shareholders' by building a cult-like status, saying he had a 'divine decree' to 'eliminate poverty from this world'. Nami was so charismatic that investors worshipped a 'Nami cult'. Investors were promised annual returns on investments of 36%! Most of the victims were housewives and elderly investors, some of whom risked all of their retirement savings.

For investments of 100,000 Yen and above, Nami introduced a virtual currency called enten (divine yen) that could be loaded on to mobile phones and used to purchase items from an Internet site. However, in 2007, the Company informed all investors that their investments would be converted to enten and this led to a deluge of requests to cancel contracts and even lawsuits demanding the return of principal investments.

The parallel between Nami and Bernie Madoff? They were both smooth operators, they moved in the higher echelons of society and they wiped off dreams of gullible investors!

Movie Review - Changeling

This movie is based on a true story of a single mother, Christine Collins, whose only son, Walter, was kidnapped in Los Angeles in the 1920s. The story is about a mother's fight to find a missing son and in the process, she helped expose a corrupt and inept Police Department - the LAPD.

Months after Walter's disappearance, police found a boy who claimed to be Walter. When he was reunited with Christine, she was convinced that he was not her son. However, as the reunion took place with the police and the press present, she had no choice but to take the boy home.

As Christine continued her efforts to find Walter and decided to give a press conference, she became an inconvenience and embarrassment for LAPD. The powers that be slandered her as an unfit mother and eventually, she was forcibly incarcerated in a mental hospital where she had to endure inhumane treatment as she fought to prove that she did not belong there.

Christine's cause was championed by a local activist, Reverend Briegleb, who hosted a radio talk show. Through the show, he helped to garner public support for LAPD to find the real Walter.

The case took a strange twist when a young boy was arrested for illegally entering the country. Before being deported to Canada, he confessed that he had helped a serial killer kill young boys on a remote ranch - could Walter be one of the serial killer's victims?

Angeline Jolie gave a convincingly moving performance as Christine Collins. She was able to portray the pain and torment of losing one's son and being ridiculed by the powers that be as one who was mentally unfit. This is a movie worth seeing.

Movie Review - Slumdog Millionaire

SM is the story of an 18-year old Mumbai slum dweller, Jamal Malik, who participated in the Indian version of the TV reality show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire." He was just one question away from winning a staggering 20 million Rupees. When the show broke away for the night, he was arrested by police on suspicion of cheating for it was unthinkable that someone who grew up in the slums could know so much.

To prove his innocence, Jamal recounted the adventures of his life in the slums with his brother Salim and a girl called Latika, the love of his life. By sheer coincidence, the events of his life somehow provided the answers to the questions that were asked on the show. So the movie scenes alternate between Jamal on the game show and the story of his life, in flashbacks - by the way, in case you don't know, no Bollywood movie is complete without flashbacks!

The verdict? SM is an over-rated movie with a far-fetched storyline cleverly marketed by Westerners.

Love Is In The Air

You know Valentine's Day is around the corner when you notice newspapers featuring restaurants, gift ideas and special offers on all kinds of things from cruises to home spa treatments. Very soon, too, there will be Valentine's message contests in newspapers and the rush to register marriages on February 14.

However, I sometimes wonder if people who jump on the "Special Day" bandwagon realize that appreciating someone - be they mums, dads, teachers or partners - is something we should do not only on that one special day but all the time. How many times have we taken people we care about for granted, never say "thank you" or "I am sorry" when the situation calls for it and allow nagging hurt to fester into discontent and anger? Thoughtful words and actions do more for a relationship than an expensive once-a-year event.

On a lighter note, my most memorable Valentine's dinner was one that I had with my then five-year old son. Most of the patrons in the restaurant were couples, although there were a couple of families. All ladies, including myself, received a rose each and my "date" was given a balloon. However, my Valentine's dinner was cut short when, at around 9.30 p.m., my "date" fell asleep! That aside, I still cherised that time spent with my son....thank you Nash for being my special Valentine!

Power is A Great Attraction...

I have a pal who thinks that US President Barack Obama is the "most gorgeous man" on the Planet since George Clooney and Bradd Pitt! To be honest, in my view, Obama is really a-pleasant-looking-average-Joe, if you don't know who he is. The reason she perceives him as gorgeous is because she is actually attracted to the power that he has - after all, doesn't he hold the most powerful job on earth? And he is endowed with a powerful brain and great oratory skills too!

In Jakarta, there is a magazine photographer, Ilham Anas, who bears a striking resemblance to Barack Obama (see pics above). Now, if Obama had not been President, would you actually notice Ilham walking down the street? Of course not! If not for Obama, Ilham would still be an unknown photographer - instead, today, he has earned a meal ticket for a lifetime - or, at least, for the next four years! Ilham now needs to hire a PR team to cash in on his new-found fame!

The Strength of The Human Spirit

Their tiny, frail, bodies splattered with shrapnel, face covered with blood from a head wound, their haunting screams of pain a testimony to the savagery of a senseless war. They do not know it yet but their parents and siblings have been wiped out by Israeli bombs. They are in pain and alone in this horrible world - however, the wheels of life will continue to turn and most will pull through and survive and some will morph into warped adults.

Deep in the recesses of time, in 1968, a 10-year old Vietnamese girl became the face of the untold suffering endured by the Vietnamese people during the Vietnam War. She was photographed naked and running after being burned by Napalm bomb dropped by US soldiers. The photograph won the Pulitzer prize. Today, she is happily married with a family.

Twenty years ago, on that fateful day when I was thrown into the abyss of a dark, lonely, world. Nothing prepared me for the challenges...it was swim or sink and I chose to swim; against the raging currents that can break boulders into smithereens. I stumbled, fell and picked myself up again and again - resolute to overcome the bumps and bruises.

Most of us have endured pain - physical, emotional, or both. But the human spirit can endure difficulties that we would not be able to do under normal circumstances. When faced with a situation where survival is at stake, we dig into ourselves and find that last ounce of courage to overcome odds and strive to pick ourselves up.

The strength of the human spirit can not only be found in heroes like Mahatma Gandhi, Anne Frank, Nelson Mandela or the ambulance drivers in Gaza who dodge bombs and bullets to save lives. It is also in the wizened fisherman with weather-beaten face when he braves the seas in the dark hours of dawn to bring food to the table, the kacang puteh seller who peddles his wares on street corners and the uneducated single mother with four young children eking out a living on the fringes of society.

We often under-estimate ourselves and only realize our strength when tested. The human spirit is the strongest force there is. As long as our spirit remains unbroken, there is no defeat. In life, spiritual defeat always precedes actual defeat. Guard against laziness, cowardice, impatience, resignation and despair which corrode the human spirit and sow the seeds of defeat.

On Marriage

They say marriage is like a golden cage - those outside wanting to get in and those inside dying to get out!

Birthday Celebration for a Dragon and Horse.....

Thank you gals for organizing a wonderful birthday party....I had a great time and judging from the non-stop dancing, I guess everyone else did too!