At a Malay wedding reception over the week-end, I and a new-found friend engaged in a discourse on how much it cost to host a wedding reception these days and what marriages mean for the "Generation Y" populace. Going by taglines such as Echo Boomers, or Millennium Generation (Millenials), GenY individuals were born between 1977 and 1994 (now usually considered a part of GenX - born between 1961 to 1981). "GenY" alludes to a succession from GenX".
The Millennials are sometimes called the "Trophy Generation", or "Trophy Kids," a term that reflects the trend in competitive sports, as well as many other aspects of life, where "no one loses" and everyone gets a "Thanks for Participating" trophy and symbolizing a perceived sense of entitlement.
It has been reported that this is an issue in corporate environments. Some employers are concerned that Millennials have too great expectations from the workplace and desire to shape their jobs to fit their lives rather than adapt their lives to the workplace. This attitude is also prevalent in their marriage - that the relationship must fit their lives rather than adapt their lives to work at the relationship!
The STAR today had an article about the alarming rate of divorce amongst young Muslim couples and their reasons for wanting a divorce were most trivial and ridiculous - ranging from forgetting birthdays/wedding anniversaries to forgetting to add sugar to the drink! Then, there was this young wife who asked for a divorce after three days of marriage because hubby forgot to buy the food she had asked for!
These young couples would fit into the GenY demographic and it is interesting that this was exactly our line of discussion at the wedding reception. I commented that young couples nowadays see divorce as an easy way out of any problems in their marriages....there is no longer a willingness to "work" at hiccups in the relationship. This is so different from the Baby Boomers and their parents; especially the latter who would go out on a limb to save their marriages.
One reason for this attitude would be economic independence...in days of yore, mothers of Baby Boomers had to ignore their spouses' indiscretions because they were financially dependent on their spouses. Most suffered in silence - and all for the sake of the children....us, Baby Boomers.
GenY couples tend to be dual-career couples and I suppose the pressure of work, attractions outside of marriage and an "entitlement" attitude all contribute to this lackadaisical approach towards marriage.
To a certain extent, we as parents of GenYers have also contributed to their "entitlement" attitude. From a young age, some of us have provided them with material things that we could not have. At a later stage, it's the 3 Cs - car, condo, credit cards - and if they don't have to work hard for the 3 Cs, they would not have any appreciation for the difficulties of life!
Young couples today are very lucky as their parents are willing to foot the bill for their wedding reception. However, I personally feel that this money is better spent in helping the couple to set up home....but then again, if everything else is already provided, what else is there to worry about?
GenY individuals are also tech-savvy and spend much of their time online. Making friends and getting to know people behind a computer screen is certainly very easy and this, perhaps, had also contributed to infidelity....I know of a young couple with a newborn, in their early thirties, whose husband is already having an affair. Although their parents have intervened and are trying very hard to bring them back together, the relationship is certainly heading for splitsville!
Due to the changing social landscape, the institution of marriage is, indeed, on very shaky ground!
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