Love Is...

Heard this song on the radio today "and I would do anything for love, but I won’t do "that”. Got me wondering what “that” is – I guess it’s different things to different people; as they say, different strokes for different folks.

For me, “that” would be not selling my soul and self-esteem; no, I would not do that even for love….but love means different things at different stages in our lives. I am not talking about love of country, parents, children, etc…I am talking about love in the romantic sense.

In our childhood, it would be puppy love – you know, signing autographs with stuff like “roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but not as sweet as you!” Gawd…did we actually believe that?

As we went through adolescence, there were boys/girls we thought about, shared drinks with at snack bars and sneaked to the movies under the pretext of going to the library! We thought we were in love but maybe we were in love with the idea of love itself. Girls would devour countless editions of Mills & Boon behind locked doors….skyrocketing phone bills, complaining parents, - ah…so “un-cool!”

When you left school to further your studies or pursue other interests, relationships from school sometimes continued but some floundered with space and distance. Some may decide to “get hitched” at this time for fear of losing each other – sometimes with disastrous consequences later in life as one day, one party, or both, would wake up and realize that there is a whole world out there they never got to enjoy – they had not lived their life yet – so to speak. There are so many things out there that beckon….especially at this stage when one (usually the male) is financially independent, worldly and successful!

Somewhere along the line, love becomes more intense and romantic as couples seriously consider their options with regards to a life partner. This is the time when you are always trying to impress, be on your best behaviour and try to be what the other party wants you to be. This is the biggest mistake one could make – for one day, the veneer would come off and the real “you” comes out – the “you” that may not be all that your partner wants you to be.

But, in a relationship, do you have to change someone to fit your mould? Why can’t each be an individual, complementing each other with their strengths and weaknesses and respecting each other’s space, opinions and beliefs? Is there such a thing as an “ideal” relationship? I wish I know!

As you reach your twilight years, when the kids have left the nest, love becomes more of companionship, caring, respect and just being there for each other….you know, I envision images of aging couples holding hands, looking at each other adoringly, visiting places and just being happy to be with each other….very idealistic….and unattainable!

So, what is love, really? Dunno!

Love looks not with the eyes but the mind - William Shakespeare