Sunday, August 13, 1989. I had to work that day as I had just returned from a week's vacation in Bali with the family and there was a lot of catching up to do at work. Before hubby and I left that morning, our 4-year old son, Nash, unusually threw a tantrum...wanting to come along. He usually was a good boy and never cried when we left for work.
Hubby had a full-dress rehearsal for a parachute jump into Stadium Merdeka that day for the SEA (South East Asia) Games opening ceremony. I dropped him off at the Sungei Besi Air Base where he would board the jump plane, before I set off to work.
At around 2 p.m. I drove to Stadium Merdeka to pick him up. However, when I reached the Stadium, an anxious fellow parachutist, Aziz Ahmad, was waiting for me at the entrance. He instructed me to let him park the car and I was being led by another parachutist (I cannot remember his name now) to the Ops Room upstairs. As I made my way through the crowd, press photographers started to take my photos. At that time, I felt a sense of foreboding and fear that the worst had happened.
The parachute jump was organised by the army and the Ops Room was full of army big guns. I was seated across a Colonel and a fellow parachutist, Major (R) Mike Shukor. Mike started off by saying that something had happened to hubby and he then broke down....I sat there dumbfounded and suddenly, the words "dia dah takde ke"? (he's no longer around?) blurted from my mouth. Mike could only nod his head and at that time, I was struck with a sense of numbness. I cried a little...I was in a daze....I was confused...was this real?
From that moment on, I was like a zombie...I just followed whatever instructions were given and I could not feel anything or even think. I was taken to the General Hospital mortuary where I identified his body. I noted that his face was intact but he had a small cut on his forehead. At the hospital grounds, there were several pressmen taking my photos and wanting to interview me but I just ignored them....too distraught to even say anything.
Events that followed now flash through my mind like a scene from a sad movie of long ago....people coming to the house to offer prayers....the tearful scene that struck everyone's hearts when Nash wailed "I want my ayah (father)" as his body was taken to the grave site for burial....the "doa selamat" (thanksgiving prayers) held for several nights and then....everyone went back to their own lives and there I was....facing life alone with a 4-year old son!
Today, 23 years on, the pain has lessened but the memories remain. So many things had happened in the last 23 years that made me a stronger person today. When I looked back at the last 23 years, I wondered where I found the strength to overcome the challenges that I faced. But Allah is great...whatever "tests" he put you through, he made sure you had the strength to endure and that in the end, you benefit from the adversities you faced. Today, I accept what fate had dealt me and I am thankful to Allah for giving me the chance to redeem my past transgressions before my time is up. Amiin!
Hubby had a full-dress rehearsal for a parachute jump into Stadium Merdeka that day for the SEA (South East Asia) Games opening ceremony. I dropped him off at the Sungei Besi Air Base where he would board the jump plane, before I set off to work.
At around 2 p.m. I drove to Stadium Merdeka to pick him up. However, when I reached the Stadium, an anxious fellow parachutist, Aziz Ahmad, was waiting for me at the entrance. He instructed me to let him park the car and I was being led by another parachutist (I cannot remember his name now) to the Ops Room upstairs. As I made my way through the crowd, press photographers started to take my photos. At that time, I felt a sense of foreboding and fear that the worst had happened.
The parachute jump was organised by the army and the Ops Room was full of army big guns. I was seated across a Colonel and a fellow parachutist, Major (R) Mike Shukor. Mike started off by saying that something had happened to hubby and he then broke down....I sat there dumbfounded and suddenly, the words "dia dah takde ke"? (he's no longer around?) blurted from my mouth. Mike could only nod his head and at that time, I was struck with a sense of numbness. I cried a little...I was in a daze....I was confused...was this real?
From that moment on, I was like a zombie...I just followed whatever instructions were given and I could not feel anything or even think. I was taken to the General Hospital mortuary where I identified his body. I noted that his face was intact but he had a small cut on his forehead. At the hospital grounds, there were several pressmen taking my photos and wanting to interview me but I just ignored them....too distraught to even say anything.
Events that followed now flash through my mind like a scene from a sad movie of long ago....people coming to the house to offer prayers....the tearful scene that struck everyone's hearts when Nash wailed "I want my ayah (father)" as his body was taken to the grave site for burial....the "doa selamat" (thanksgiving prayers) held for several nights and then....everyone went back to their own lives and there I was....facing life alone with a 4-year old son!
Today, 23 years on, the pain has lessened but the memories remain. So many things had happened in the last 23 years that made me a stronger person today. When I looked back at the last 23 years, I wondered where I found the strength to overcome the challenges that I faced. But Allah is great...whatever "tests" he put you through, he made sure you had the strength to endure and that in the end, you benefit from the adversities you faced. Today, I accept what fate had dealt me and I am thankful to Allah for giving me the chance to redeem my past transgressions before my time is up. Amiin!
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