Winter of My Life

Found this piece written by Patrick Timm that so aptly describes the sunset phase of life....

BY: PATRICK TIMM
"I have always enjoyed autumn, it is the best season of all. Crisp cool days. Breezes blowing colorful leaves throughout the air. I can finally wear a sweatshirt or jacket and be comfortable. Fresh snow on the craggy peaks. Anticipation of the upcoming holidays. Cozy evenings by the fireplace. A time to slow down and reflect of the past.

This year as I sit here in the middle  of the winter season and look out at the cold sunshine I began to think. Time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems like yesterday that I was young starting my career and family. Yet in a way, it seems like a lifetime ago, and I  wonder where all the years went. I have lived them all and have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams.

But here it is, the winter of my life in reality. I guess it caught me by surprise, oh how did it get here so fast?

Where did the years go and where did my youth go? Reminds me of the song “Where have all the flowers gone? Long time passing . . .”

Throughout my years I saw older people thinking that those older people were years away from me. The fact is—my friends are retired and getting gray. I look at them and they are older now, some move a little slower. I can see the change. I  am now one of those older folks that I used to see and never thought I would be there. Almost everything is an effort now, just taking care of myself. Taking a nap doesn’t seem like a treat anymore but a necessity.

Well, now I must come to the realization that this is final season of my life for I have lived through spring, summer and fall. I am unprepared for the aches and pains and the inability to go back and do all the things that I wish I had done. On the calendar the winter season has a predetermined set of days. In life I don’t really know my remaining days. Two or three years, 12 or 20 years? I do know, that when it’s over on this earth…it’s over. 

Regrets? Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn’t done and things I should have done . My one pleasure is knowing there are many things I’m happy to have done. Spring, summer and fall, yeah I was busy.

If one figures there are twenty years to each of the four seasons of an average life, think where you are as they come and go quickly. Whatever you would like to accomplish in your life do it now.

Of course we never have the promise that we will see all the seasons of life so live each day to the fullest. I realize my children are becoming me. I get a little forgetful at times—I like to think it is just all that data in my memory banks overflowing.

I look at my clothes in my closet, I must have several sizes of clothes. Heck, I will never wear most of them.

Getting old is enjoyable in some ways, I daydream of the good old days, old songs, old movies, old friends, playing outside and other antics. A life much simpler than now. No worries then. Life was eternal.

I remember my Father-In-Law in  his winter season of life. He always had ripe bananas in his fruit bowl on the table. I made mention of this one time and he replied that at his age he doesn’t buy any green bananas. That always stuck in my mind. I chuckle each time I select a banana now.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not giving up on life—just realizing I must make the most of my remaining days for they are numbered. The actual spring season is about 75 days away but my mind and body will be frozen in the winter of my life throughout the remaining calendar seasons that God grants me to see .  No mid-life crisis, way beyond  that. Each sunset will be a reminder of my life that I have lived.

Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago?

Where have all the flowers gone?
Young girls have picked them everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the graveyards gone, long time passing?
Where have all the graveyards gone, long time ago?
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Gone to flowers, everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?"

Adrenaline Junkie: 40 Rules to Live Your Life By

Lessons From the Crash of Germanwings Flight 4U9525

With the information that deceased Germanwings pilot Andreas Lubitz had suffered from depression, perhaps employers need to focus on this aspect of employees' health. Sadly, depression is often misunderstood by society at large and this is why Lubitz had hidden this illness from his employers.

Society tends to look at depression as a "mental illness" which carries negative conotations such as insanity, weakness and excessive emotion. Granted, it is a condition of the mind, but it is like any illness as it is treatable with medication and therapy. It is caused by the imbalance of hormones in the brain but unfortunately, if a person declares that he/she is depressed, this often is used against the employee and may have an impact on one's career advancement. Hence, the reason why Lubitz hid the truth from his employers.

The most famous depressed personality is the painter Vincent Van Gogh. His famous paintings (usually a riot of vibrant colors) were a reflection of his tortured mind, which had led to him being institutionalised, and eventually, suicide.

The following is a good article on understanding depression. If you think you are depressed, seek professional help.

Remember, depression is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign that you have tried to be strong for far too long....

PS
Investigators have determined that Lubitz did inform his employers about his illness and there is now a raging debate about who knows what when.  However, it still remains that depression is a much-misunderstood illness and society at large needs to be educated on how to recognize symptoms and seek help.

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-signs-and-symptoms.htm

The Year that Was

Annus horibilis (Latin: horrible year) are two words that aptly describe 2014 which is now coming to a close.

For the country, the twin tragedies involving Malaysia Airlines' Flights MH 370 and MH 17, four months apart, must be the most significant for the country in decades.  MH 370 disappeared on March 8, 2014 with 239 passengers/crew on board.  A search for the missing plane is still ongoing in the remote waters of the Indian Ocean where the plane is assumed to have gone down.  This assumption is based on complex number crunching from technical data that are available from satellite systems and the aircraft manufacturer.

On July 17, 2014, Flight MH 17, with 298 people on board, was shot down over war-torn Ukraine and to this day, it is still not known who the culprits are and whether this was a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time or something more sinister.  All 298 people, of various nationalities, including Malaysians, perished.

In the sports arena, Datuk Lee Chong Wei, world's No. 1 badminton player, was embroiled in a doping scandal and he has been suspended.  To this day, his fate is still unknown as he is waiting for BWF (Badminton World Federation) to convene a hearing.  In the meantime, he has been replaced as World's No. 1 by China's Chen Long.

On the economic front, the Malaysian Ringgit's significant slide against the US Dollar has resulted in, among other things, more expensive imports.  Malaysians are paying higher costs for food as most of our food is imported.

While lower oil prices resulted in the people paying less at the pump, the Government is bound to lose revenue as PETRONAS' earnings slide.

Mother Nature has also added to Malaysia's woes.  The East Coast of Peninsular Malaysia is now inundated by serious flooding and more than 100,000 people have been displaced.  It is the monsoon season and floods are the norm during the monsoon season but the flooding this year is the most serious in more than 30 years.  The Prime Minister came under fire when he was pictured golfing with President Obama in Hawaii, where the latter was spending his Christmas holidays.  When the flood became more serious the PM cut short his holidays and returned to Malaysia to personally direct relief efforts.  In responding to critics, the PM defended his "golf diplomacy" saying it was difficult to turn down the invitation and plans had been made long before the floods began.  He was also in touch daily with the DPM who was entrusted with the responsibility of overseeing flood response operations.  Whether or not this lapse in judgement would have an impact on his political career remains to be seen.  It is akin to George Bush's perceived slow response to Hurricane Katrina which left a blot on his already tarnished legacy.

However, it is not all doom and gloom.  Squash queen, Datuk Nicole David, made us proud to be Malaysians when she won the world title in 8 straight years, a hard-to-beat feat indeed!

Malaysia has returned to the United Nations Security Council (UNSC) after a 15-year absence with an absolute victory.  Of the 192 votes cast at the UN General Assembly, 187 was in support of Malaysia's unopposed candidacy to represent the Asia Pacific region.

On the home front, mum's health took a turn for the worse.  After a short bout of illness, she is no longer mobile and is wheelchair-bound.  She cannot perform the basics of daily living and has to be cared for.  I am grateful that my loyal maid (who has been with me for 20 years now) is still around to help as I would otherwise be helpless without her.

That about sums up the year that was....here's wishing everyone a happy new year and let us pray for peace and continued prosperity for our beloved Malaysia.

Postscript:
To add to the doom and gloom, it has just be reported that Air Asia Flight QZ8501, operated by Air Asia Indonesia, is now missing and SAR operations are ongoing.  The plane was bound for Singapore from Surabaya and contact was lost while it was flying between Java and Kalimantan in reportedly bad weather.  There are reportedly more than 160 people on board, with the majority being Indonesians.  Malaysia had already lost 2 planes this year - one missing and one downed by rocket fire....we cannot afford a third one.  Ya Allah, kami memohon perlindunganMu dari segala bencana.  Berikanlah kekuatan kepada rakyat dan pemimpin kami untuk menghadapi bencana yang datang bertalu-talu ini.

  

August 13, 1989

Allahyarham Hj Muhandes bin Hj Mohamed

(July 6, 1942 - August 13, 1989)

August 13, 1989
Forever etched in my mind
The day my world fell apart
And left me with a shattered heart

I went through the motions
Shocked, numbed and broken
How would I carry on
Now that you're gone

A young child who turned four
Without the ayah he adored
What would his future be
It would be all up to me

Ya Allah, please make me strong
For the road ahead would be long
Give me the wisdom and foresight
To know what's wrong and right

Twenty five years have passed by
I went through lows and highs
With sheer will and determination
To fulfill my obligations

A perfect mother I may not have been
I did the best within my means
To fulfill the promise that I made
Though deep inside I was afraid

Ya Allah, I ask of you
For health and strength to continue
This journey that I must make
And to learn from my mistakes

Al-fatihah...semoga roh mu ditempatkan bersama orang yang soleh dan Jannah untuk balasan amalan mu

The Pain of Not Knowing

As the search for the missing flight MH370 enters its 14th day, more and more countries are joining in the search.  While the world focuses on the press conferences by Malaysian officials and visuals of the rescue mission, those directly affected by the disappearance of the plane - the families of the missing passengers/crew - can only wait and pray.

As someone who had undergone a personal tragedy which claimed the life of a loved one, I cannot begin to imagine the pain that the families are going through.  They go through each day in limbo....so many questions cannot be answered....every conjecture and speculation on the how, why and where would bring more pain.  Their lives are on hold and they are clutching to hopes, however flimsy, that their loved ones are still alive somewhere out there.

Some tips on how to help the families cope with the uncertainty are in order.  NEVER try to comfort them by saying "I know how you feel"....because you DON'T KNOW.  Also, even though as Muslims we believe in Allah's will and we accept what has been planned for us by the Almighty (redha), this may not be the right time to tell them to be patient and accept what is fated.  They have been patient for the last 2 weeks and some people are less resilient than others in the face of tragedy.  It is more helpful to be there to listen to them, hold their hands and make them feel that someone cares.

It is also a good idea to help where you can - for example to help send/fetch young children to/from school, volunteer to babysit when needed or cook meals if the person happens to be a neighbor.  It would also be a good idea to visit the person regularly (but not intrude on their privacy) just to find out how the person is managing and to let them know that you are there to help.

In the meantime, prayers do help and we can show our empathy by praying for their loved ones.  We should also be considerate of their feelings and please do not spread rumors, misinformation and conspiracy theories as these will not benefit anyone; least of all the families.

I pray that there will be closure sooner rather than later.

Integrative Medicine - Ozone Therapy

LBA (lab blood analysis) and body composition test shows the following results:

1)  Cancer Marker:    Negative (thank Allah!)

2)  Overall fat:   Very high

3)  Visceral Fat (fat around organs - most dangerous that can cause heart conditions, stroke, 

      etc):   Very high

4)  Subcutaneous fat (fat under the skin): all below normal (due to exercise, which is good)

5)  Skeletal muscle: High (which is good - again due to exercise)

6)  BMI:   Obese

7)  Body age: 77 vs actual age 61

LBA also shows that every organ is my body (heart, kidney, liver, spleen, etc.) is not working at optimal level.  Apart from bad dietary habits and medication, another factor contributing to this condition is the surgery that I had undergone in 2007.  It was a surgery to remove the gall bladder due to stones.  However, during the procedure, the surgeon had accidentally nicked the central bile duct (CBD) that caused bile to flood into my abdomen.  Bile is toxic and it has caused damage to the internal organs due to peritonitis.  However, I was lucky that I was treated before more damage was done to the organs – I had an abdominal surgery and 2 litres of pus was drained from my abdomen and I was treated with antibiotics.  I was told by the doctor who did the LBA that peritonitis is potentially fatal if not addressed immediately and it affects the well-being of one’s internal organs.  Learning about this now makes me understand why my surgeon, Prof Razman Jarmin of HUKM, told me that a majority of his patients who had similar conditions to mine, usually continue to see him for between 5 – 10  years from the surgery. 

The above revelation really opened my eyes on my overall health condition.  I thank Allah that I had survived a potentially fatal condition in 2007 and I decided to try Ozone Therapy as a preventive measure before more serious health issues arise.  It is also time to adjust my eating habits and exercise regime.

Ozone Therapy originated in Germany in the 18^th century although it had also been used in ancient civilisation.  It involves introducing controlled doses of ozone into the blood to rid the blood of plaque, toxins and other free radicals that we get from the air we breathe, food, medication, lack of exercise and our unhealthy lifestyle such as smoking.  The blood goes through a process of “cleansing” when ozone is added and blood is re-infused into the body.

Ozone therapy is a simple naturopathic medical procedure that improves both circulation and utilization of oxygen by the tissues. Circulation is improved as ozone decreases the thickness and viscosity of the blood, and may stimulate dilation and relaxation of the artery walls. This can help compensate for blockages in the arteries from fats (atheromatous plaques).  Ozone therapy strongly stimulates both proper circulation (delivery of oxygen), and proper energy generation (utilization of oxygen). The cells in your body, including the heart (angina), muscles (claudication pain) generate their own energy for use. Oxygen is vital to this process. If the cells can generate enough energy, there will be less fatigue and less pain. Ozone helps with both oxygen delivery and with the way the cells use oxygen once it has been delivered.

Ozone also has very well-defined effects on the immune system, particularly by regulating the activity of the white blood cells. This makes it extremely useful in allergic and autoimmune conditions.

Ozone consists of 3 Oxygen atoms, whereas Oxygen has only 2 oxygen atoms. It is this extra oxygen atom which gives ozone its instability and its power.  The extra oxygen atom is not comfortable where it is, and it makes the ozone very unstable. This extra oxygen atom wants to immediately attach itself to something else to find stability and to release an oxygen molecule.

Let’s take for example how ozone works to neutralize viruses or bacteria and other pathogens (an agent that causes disease, especially a living microorganism such as a bacterium or fungus).

When ozone comes into contact with a virus for example, it immediately disrupts the very delicate and frail viral cellular envelope surrounding the viral organism. This leads to a breakdown of the viral cell wall and also a rupture of the virus, leading to its destruction.  Ozone therapy  has been proven in studies to be able to destroy virtually all viruses, some more so than others.  It has also been successfully used in Germany to treat HIV.

Ozone therapy is a medical act and must be done by a professionally-qualified medical practitioner.  The doctor that I visited has been practising Integrative Medicine for the past 28 years.  Integrative Medicine is a blend of western and alternative medicine.  Integrative medicine is fast gaining popularity in Malaysia as cure for certain conditions such as cancer, diabetes and heart conditions and also as preventive measure to maintain good health.

Detractors of ozone therapy claim that it is dangerous to introduce ozone into the blood because when you mention ozone, most think of smog and toxicity.  Rising incidence of asthma and other respiratory disorders in polluted cities bear testimony to this line of thinking.  Yet, on the other hand, experts warn us that the depleting ozone layer in the atmosphere are putting us in danger of cancer as the ozone layer fail to block out the ultraviolet rays from the sun that cause cancer.  In this instance, ozone is seen as good.

Many people do not seem to realize that ozone in pure form and ozone mixed with pollutants behave differently. (Furthermore, the ozone layer in the stratosphere has a different impact on humans than that on a beach.).  Many people have benefited from ozone therapy so the jury is still out there on this form of therapy but I am willing to give it a try given the current state of my health.

 Toxins and proteins removed from the blood.  Excess protein (bubbles) in the blood may indicate immune system disorder

Procedure is carried out in a clinic setting

         Blood  (dark in color ) is drawn from the left arm and re-infused into the right arm (blood is lighter in color after being infused with ozone)

    

On The Brink....

NOTICE: THIS POST CONTAINS GRAPHIC IMAGES OF SURGICAL WOUNDS THAT SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

It was a relatively simple surgical procedure – a cholecystectomy – surgical removal of the gall bladder due to stone in the bladder. The procedure was done laparoscopically and I was discharged after 2 days. By the fifth day, I felt fine enough to drive. However, the seventh day (May 7, 2009) brought on acute stomach pain accompanied by vomiting. The pain grew progressively worse, spreading to my back and shoulders.

At about 1.30 p.m., I was admitted into the Emergency room of the same hospital where the surgery was carried out. An injection was given to help me deal with the pain. However, inspite of that, the pain continued and I requested, and was given, a second injection an hour later.

Although I was in acute pain and repeatedly requested for the surgeon, I was told that he was busy attending to patients in his clinic and I had to wait. Given my condition, it would have been comforting if the surgeon had dropped by and checked on me, even if for a while…his presence would not immediately cure my condition but would be a demonstration of a caring attitude…but maybe that was too much to expect? Sick patients do not just need medical care; they also need empathy and emotional support. I would not be surprised at such indifference if I were in a government hospital – but this was one of the well-patronized private hospitals in the Kelang Valley.

The accommodation I requested was not immediately available so I continued to wait in Emergency. Finally, at about 4.30 p.m., I was temporarily admitted into a suite and until then, there was still no sign of the surgeon. He finally appeared at 6.30 p.m. (5 hours from the time I was admitted into Emergency) and announced that it might be gastritis. Gastritis? I have never had that condition in the entire 5 plus decades of my existence; but since he is a doctor, I believed him. Medication for gastritis was administered.

In the meantime, more tests were carried out and on May 10, an MRI (x-ray) was conducted to confirm what the problem was. The x-ray showed that there was fluid in my abdomen, suspected to be caused by a leakage of bile into my system. The leakage was suspected to have occurred at the site where the bladder was clamped after removal. I was told that the condition could be managed in one of two ways – performing an endoscopy or administration of antibiotics. The surgeon advised that the former was an invasive procedure considering that I just had surgery and recommended the latter since the leakage was slight; judging from the time lapse from the date of surgery and the condition at hand.

Unable to endure the pain and placing my complete trust in the surgeon's professional opinion, I agreed to be treated with antibiotics for the next four days. By that time, I had developed fever and signs of jaundice (the whites of my eyes turned yellowish), my abdomen was bloated, my urine was the color of dark tea and my stool was greyish in color. My protein level had also fallen and I was given liquid protein intravenously for three days.

On the eighth day, the surgeon advised me that the leakage could not be fixed at the hospital and recommended that I be transferred to a teaching hospital of a local university where specialized services are available. I was transferred to that hospital in an ambulance on Friday, May 15.  At this hospital, I was assigned under the care of a surgeon specializing in hepatobiliary and pancreatic conditions.

The surgeon examined me later that evening and told me that he had scheduled for endoscopy the following day (a Saturday) when he would insert a stent to stop the leakage. After this procedure, he told me that he had to go out of town for the weekend and would check on me the following Monday.

In the meantime, my fever continued and at about 9 p.m. on Sunday, May 17, the surgeon showed up and told me that he had to return from his trip as I required immediate surgery. A laparotomy (abdominal surgery) was done at about 11 p.m. and when I woke up at about 3.30 a.m. the following day, I found myself in the High Dependency Surgical Ward of the hospital.

My condition had been life-threatening - the surgeon had drained about two litres of pus from my abdomen (I was suffereing from septicemia) but the worst was over. He confirmed that the leakage was caused by an injury to the common bile duct; which occurred during cholecystectomy.

On learning this, I freaked out; angry that I had to suffer physically and emotionally for the apparent negligence of a medical professional at an exhorbitant cost (total ~RM27K). I was still on dribs, I could not walk to the toilet for bodily functions and had to wear diapers, and I hated the tubes that stuck out from my abdomen, draining bile into a pouch that I had to carry. I had bouts of asthma due to stress and from there on, I went downhill emotionally to the extent that I required psychiatric help to cope with my condition. Although the worst was over, those were the darkest days of my life!

Bile Flowing out Post Surgery

Infection at surgical site

During the month-long hospital stay, I had to undergo physiotherapy to rehabilitate - not only due to the surgery but also other conditions caused by immobility as I was bed-ridden for three weeks. I also had to deal with an infection at the surgical site.

My condition requires long-term care and today, I still have a stent in my bile duct. This experience drove home the reality that life is fragile, temporary and fleeting. Since then, I have learnt to live for today and be thankful for what I have. I turned to prayers to give me the strength to go on and I wake up every day thankful that I have my health again. The laparotomy was my thirteenth surgery in the last 20 years, three of which were botched jobs that required follow-up surgeries, and these were all performed at private hospitals with supposedly specialist expertise.

Someone once said, "life is not about waiting for storms to pass - it is about learning to dance in the rain", and I am indeed learning to dance in the rain!

24 Ramadhan Telah Berlalu.....

Tahun ini merupakan Ramadhan yang ke-24 sejak pemergian mu.  Setiap Ramadhan yang berlalu mengingatkan diriku betapa perjalanan ini semakin menghampiri destinasi yang dituju.

"Wahai Allah, ampunilah Haji Muhandes, naikkanlah darjatnya di antara orang-orang yang mendapat hidayah, dan lindungilah keluarga dan keturunannya yang masih hidup.  Ampunilah dia dan kami, wahai Tuhan sekelian alam, luaskanlah kubur baginya dan berikanlah cahaya di dalamnya.

Al-fatihah....

Bila Allah Datang Memanggil

“Wa lan yu’akhkhiral-laahu nafsan ‘ithaa jaaa’ a ‘ajaluhaa; wallahu khabeerum bimaa ta’ maloon.”

“Dan (ingatlah), Allah tidak sekali-kali akan melambatkan kematian seseorang (atau sesuatu yang bernyawa) apabila sampai ajalnya; dan Allah amat mendalam pengetahuannya mengenai segala yang kamu kerjakan.”

Al-Munafiqun (63:11)

Setiap yang hidup akan mati dan ajal maut terletaknya di tangan Allah. Kita manusia harus sentiasa bersedia untuk menghadapi kematian sebab kita tidak akan diberi amaran terlebih dahulu akan ketibaannya.

Saya ingin berkongsi pengalaman yang benar-benar terjadi dalam hidup saya berkenaan dengan topik ajal maut.  Niat saya berkongsi pengalaman saya ini sebagai peringatan untuk diri saya dan semua pembaca blog ini bahawa kewujudan kita di dunia ini adalah sementara. Kita di dunia ini semuanya dalam perjalanan menuju ke satu destinasi: iaitu akhirat, yang kekal abadi. Oleh kerana kewujudan kita di bumi adalah sementara, harta benda kita yang kita telah bekerja bertungkus-lumus untuk mengumpul, juga sementara. Apabila sudah tiba masanya untuk kembali ke Pencipta kita, kita tinggalkan harta benda dan orang-orang yang dikasihi dan yang boleh menyelamatkan kita dari azab api neraka adalah  amalan baik kita, ketaatan kita kepada perintah Allah dan doa anak yang soleh.

“Rabbana aatina fiddunya hasanah, wafil aakhiroti hasanah, waaqina athaban naar.”

“Ya Tuhan kami, berilah kami kebaikan di dunia dan kebaikan di akhirat dan peliharalah kami dari seksa neraka”. 

Al-Baqarah (2:201)

Pengalaman yang ingin saya kongsi melibatkan arwah suami saya.  Kira-kira 2 bulan sebelum arwah suami saya meninggal dunia, Allahyarham mendapat “panggilan” dari Allah bahawa sudah tiba masanya untuk beliau melaksanakan rukun Islam yang kelima, iaitu menunaikan fardu Haji.  Panggilan ini datangnya selepas solat subuh ketika beliau membaca doa.  Panggilan ini datang dalam bentuk keinginan yang teramat sangat hendak pergi ke Makkah untuk melaksanakan Haji.   Dengan izin Allah yang Maha Mengasihani, walaupun beliau tidak mendaftar untuk menunaikan Haji, terdapat pembatalan di saat-saat akhir oleh seorang lelaki berusia kerana keuzuran dan Allahyarham mendapat tempat untuk ke Makkah.

Allahyarham bernasib baik kerana ada seorang hamba Allah di tempat kerjanya yang membuat kerja sambilan sebagai "Sheikh Haji".  Sheikh Haji inilah yang membimbing Allahyarham tentang cara-cara memakai Ihram, doa-doa yang wajib dibaca dan cara-cara mengerjakan Haji.   Ini semua dilakukan dalam tempoh yang sangat singkat dan dengan tergesa-gesa.

Allahyarham berlepas ke Makkah dalam penerbangan pada 30hb Jun, 1989 dan selamat pulang ke tanah air pada penghujung bulan Julai 1989.  Beberapa hari selepas beliau pulang ke Malaysia dari Makkah, kami bertiga beranak telah bercuti selama satu minggu di Bali di mana beliau mengambil bahagian dalam satu kejohanan payung terjun antarabangsa.

Setelah kembali dari Bali, beliau mengambil bahagian dalam raptai pertunjukan payung terjun untuk pembukaan Sukan SEA XV, yang diadakan di Stadium Merdeka.  Raptai itu diadakan pada 13hb Ogos 1989 ... kira-kira 3 minggu selepas Allahyarham menunaikan haji. Pada hari itulah terjadi musibah yang meragut nyawa Allahyarham.

Allahyarham telah berlanggar dengan seorang lagi penerjun semasa membuat pertunjukan di udara.  Kedua-dua payung terjun berjaya dibuka tetapi apabila berlaku pelanggaran, kedua-dua payung mereka terbelit menyebabkan payung mereka kuncup semula. Kedua-dua mereka jatuh menjunam ke tanah di saksikan oleh beribu-ribu penonton di Stadium Merdeka.  Mereka jatuh di Bulatan Edinburgh  (di hadapan Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka) berhampiran dengan Stadium Merdeka.

Allahyarham yang jatuh dahulu dan beliau dihempap oleh penerjun yang kedua.  Allahyarham mati di tempat kejadian manakala penerjun kedua berada dalam koma selama 5 hari sebelum menghembuskan nafasnya yang terakhir.   Kedua-dua mereka meninggal dunia akibat kecederaan dalaman.

 Allahyarham telah dikebumikan pada 14hb Ogos, 1989; iaitu pada hari lahir anak tunggalnya Mohamed Nasser.  Beliau dikebumikan 44 hari dari tarikh dia menaiki kapal terbang ke Makkah. Sebagai orang Islam, kita percaya bahawa 100 hari sebelum seseorang meninggal dunia, telah berlaku berbagai-bagai perubahan pada dirinya dan saya telah nampak perubahan yang berlaku kepada Allahyarham selepas beliau pulang dari menunaikan fardu Haji.  Begitu juga rakan-rakan sepejabatnya. Beliau menjadi pendiam, banyak bermenung dan dia juga memberitahu saya bahawa akan terjadi banyak perubahan dalam kehidupan kami berdua.

Ketika di Makkah, beliau menulis surat kepada saya pada hari lahir ke-47 beliau (7hb Julai 1989) dan surat itu sebenarnya merupakan surat perpisahan dari beliau. Surat itu hanya tiba selepas beliau meninggal dunia dan saya masih menyimpan surat itu walaupun 24 tahun telah berlalu. Dalam surat itu, dia meminta saya untuk memberitahu anak saya (Mohamed Nasser) yang pada masa itu berumur 4 tahun, bahawa dia telah mendoakannya dan berharap bahawa Nasser akan membesar menjadi anak yang baik.

Dari segi keagamaan, Allahyarham boleh dikategorikan dalam golongan yang lalai pada usia mudanya….seperti juga saya dan, mungkin juga ramai pembaca di luar sana.  Sebagai orang Islam, kita telah dididik dari kecil untuk membaca al-Quran, melakukan solat, berpuasa pada bulan Ramadhan, membayar zakat dan menunaikan haji apabila mampu. Beliau tidak pernah tinggalkan puasa dan membayar zakat tetapi tidak selalu menepati solat lima waktu pada usia mudanya.

 Saya mengaku saya juga termasuk dalam kategori ini…ada sahaja perkara duniawi yang hendak dilakukan dan kita terlalu sibuk mengejar perkara keduniaan sehingga terlupa bahawa Dia (Allah) sentiasa bermurah hati memberi kita rezeki tapi kita melupakanNya.  Alhamdullillah, pada pertengahan usianya, Allahyarham mendekati dirinya dengan Allah.

Allah itu Maha Pengasih dan Maha Pengampun.  Dia sentiasa memberi peluang kepada kita untuk bertaubat walaupun kita selalu lalai.  Tetapi, bukan semua orang akan bernasib baik mendapat hidayah daripada Allah sebelum menemui ajal; seperti Allahyarham.  Saya amat bersyukur bahawa dia sempat menyempurnakan ibadah Haji sebelum kembali menemui Allah dan saya sentiasa mendoakan bahawa amalannya diterima Allah.

Allah amat menyayangi umatnya dan sentiasa mahu mengampunkan dosa-dosa yang kecil-kecilan yang dilakukan oleh umatnya.  Bagaimanakah Allah mengampuni dosa-dosa kecil kita?  Dia menguji kita dengan berbagai-bagai-bagai dugaan hidup: yang sihat menjadi sakit, yang kaya menjadi miskin dan inilah hidayah yang diturunkanNya agar kita sedar dan kembali ke jalan Allah.

Bagi diri saya, hidayah dari Allah datang apabila saya hampir maut akibat “septisemia” (keracunan darah) yang disebabkan oleh pembedahan di mana doktor bedah telah membuat kesilapan. Pada suatu malam ketika sembahyang tahajud di hospital, saya memejamkan mata lalu berdoa dengan air mata mencurah-curah agar cepat sembuh.  Tiba-tiba, dalam kepala saya, saya "ternampak" cahaya yang terang-benderang; bukan terang seperti cahaya lampu tapi lebih menjurus kepada cahaya kilauan intan permata.  Di saat itu juga, keinginan hati ini untuk mengerjakan Haji terasa meluap-luap – rasanya macam hendak pergi ke Makkah pada keesokan hari.  Alhamdullillah, dengan keizinanNya, saya berjaya mengerjakan Haji lima bulan selepas keluar dari hospital.  Saya juga dapat mengerjakan Umrah dua kali dalam tiga tahun selepas menunaikan Haji.

Kematian kita telah ditentukan pada hari kita dilahirkan – mati akan datang pada tepat masanya.  Ia tidak akan datang sesaat lebih awal dan tidak boleh ditunda walau sesaat pun. Tujuan kita di muka bumi adalah untuk membuat persiapan untuk akhirat dan pada masa yang sama, tidak mengabaikan keperluan duniawi. Jadi, kita harus sentiasa bersedia untuk kembali kepada Pencipta kita kerana kita tidak tahu bila akan tibanya giliran kita. 

Saya berharap perkongsian pengalaman saya ini dapat membawa kesedaran kepada pembaca-pembaca yang budiman.  Bukan niat saya hendak riak kerana saya telah mendapat hidayah; hanya mahu mengingatkan kita semua bahawa masa kita di dunia ini mungkin terhad; jadi janganlah lalai seperti saya pada suatu masa dahulu.

Bekam

Bekam (or bloodletting) is the withdrawal of often small quantities of blood from a patient to cure or prevent illness and disease. In English, Bekam is known as cupping.

in Arabic, Bekam is called “Al-Hijamah”.  The word “hijamah” derived its origin from the word “al-hajm” which carries the meaning: to suck, to absorb, or to extract.  The practice of Bekam was practised by the Prophet Muhammad PBUH (570-635 AD) as evidenced in the following hadis: 

Rasullullah S.A.W. said," Jibrail Alaisalam repeatedly emphasized upon me to resort to cupping to the extent that I feared that cupping will be made compulsory."

(Jamul' Warsaii p.179).

Rasulullah S.A.W.  praised a person who performs cupping, saying it removes blood, lightens the back and sharpens the eyesight.

(Jamul Warsaai p. 179).

Anas ibn Maalik r.a. reported that the Messenger S.A.W. said “Indeed the best of remedies that you have is hijamah (cupping)”.

(Saheeh Al-Bukhari [5371])

Abu Hurairah r.a. reported that the Messenger S.A.W. said “If there was something excellent to be used as a remedy, then it is hijamah (cupping)”

(Saheeh Sunan abi Dawud [3857])

(Saheeh Sunan ibn Maajah[3476])

In modern-day Bekam, the practitioner first determines the part of the body that requires cupping - for migraine, it is the scalp.  Punctures are then made to the scalp (after shaving the pre-determined site).  A cup is attached to the skin surface to cause local congestion through the negative pressure created by introducing suction. This draws up the underlying tissues. When the cup is left in place on the skin for a few minutes, blood stasis is formed and localized healing takes place.  In olden days, buffalo horns are used for suction; in fact, this is still being used today in Malaysia.  After blood is removed, the area is cleansed using antiseptic swabs.  Disposable needles are used to puncture the skin.

Toxic blood of a migraine sufferer

Is Bekam painful?  Although many people claim it is painless, I found it painful when the skin is punctured (due to my lower pain level tolerance?).  When suction is introduced, it is also painful but after a while, the pain subsides.

Proponents of Bekam claim it is effective in its curative use in eliminating pain, restoring physical functions and in preventing as well as healing of diseases. Frequent usage will eventually remove the excess humours (blood, phlegm and bile) and toxic waste present in the blood vessels and muscles under the skin. In short, if given time, this method can slowly “overhaul” the whole body generating optimum health, thus contributing to a true preventive health care programmed which we are badly in need of.

Use of Clay in Traditional Malay Cosmetics

ENGLISH VERSION


Bedak Sejuk

The benefits of "bedak sejuk" (literal: cool powder) are well-known amongst ladies in the Malay community. This decades-old traditional beauty preparation is used even today, mainly amongst the older generation as the younger ladies are now opting for brand names that are widely advertised using well-known personalities as models.  What the ads don't tell consumers is that these models have flawless skin that are air-brushed and they probably don't use the products being advertised!

Bedak sejuk is made from rice which is soaked with fragrant local flowers such bunga Melor (scientific name: Jasminum Sambac), Cempaka (scientific name: Mickelia Champaka) and Tanjung (scientific name: Mimusops Elengi).  The rice is then ground to a paste and mixed with “daun pandan” (scientific name :Pandanus amaryllifolius) to enhance it’s fragrance.  Bedak sejuk is used in place of face powder and also as facial mask.

Clay

Clay is one very unique type of soil with extraordinarily rich physico-chemical properties that endow it to be one of the best detoxifier/purifier and versatile natural healing product available.  Clay has been used for beauty and medicinal purposes for thousands of years.  Today, clay is used in cosmetic preparations such as masks and scrubs and to cure acne.  It is known, among other things, to absorb oils and toxin from the face, close open pores and hydrate the skin.

Bedak Sejuk Made from Clay

An alternative available today is Bedak Sejuk Tabloq which made from 100% clay.  It is processed using mineral water and no other ingredients are added.  Listed below are some of the benefits of Bedak Sejuk Tabloq:

• Cools the skin.
• Rids skin of acne and acne scars.
• Absorbs facial oils and impurities, removes dead cells.
• Closes open pores.
• Whitens skin.
• Tightens skin.
• Moisturises skin.
• Treats nappy rash in babies.
• Cools the skin when exposed to chicken pox and prevents scarring.
• Suitable for all types of skin diseases, (scabies, shingles and eczema)
• Removes underarm hair.
• Reduces heat due to skin burns.
• Prevents stretch marks for pregnant ladies.
• Dries up wounds.
• Relieves breast pain for lactating mothers.
• Cleanses female genitals after menstruation
• Ideal for body scrubs.
• Fever (to be taken orally)
• Gastric Disorder (to be taken orally
• Diarrhoea (To be taken orally)

The above is based on the feedback and testimonials from users who have used the product, since the 1970s.

This writer was given Bedak Sejuk Tabloq to try and although sceptical at first, I decided to do so.  After using it for 2 nights as facial mask before sleeping, I could see visible results (see photo). 

I am an avid golfer and spend a lot of time in the sun.  As a consquence, inspite of regular facials using modern cosmetics, my skin tone is uneven but with Bedak Sejuk Tabloq my skin feels smoother and the tone is now even.  After washing off the mask in the morning, my skin feels hydrated and the open pores are less visible.  I use make-up minimally and my make-up regime consists of only cleanser, moisturiser, sunblock and loose powder.

I am now planning to use Bedak Sejuk Tabloq as a body scrub and see the results for myself.  I will provide an update on the results!    


VERSI BAHASA MALAYSIA
Ramai di antara kita tahu akan manfaat bedak sejuk yang telah digunakan oleh nenek moyang kita untuk beberapa generasi.  Saya ingin memperkenalkan kepada anda bedak sejuk yang diperbuat daripada tanah liat dari negara kita yang tidak mengandungi sebarang bahan kimia tambahan.  Tanah liat telah digunakan berkurun lamanya sebagai ramuan kecantikan untuk penjagaan kulit dan juga untuk tujuan perubatan.  Produk ini adalah Bedak Sejuk Tabloq (BST).  

Antara manfaat BST adalah:

• Menyejukkan kulit.
• Menghilangkan jerawat dan parut jerawat.
• Menyerap minyak muka dan kekotoran, membuang sel-sel mati.
• Menutup liang terbuka.
• Memutihkan kulit.
• Menegangkan kulit.
• Melembapkan kulit.
• Merawat ruam lampin pada bayi.
• Menyejukkan kulit apabila terdedah kepada cacar air dan mencegah parut.
• Sesuai untuk semua jenis penyakit kulit, (kudis, kayap dan ekzema)
• Membuang bulu ketiak.
• Mengurangkan haba kerana kulit terbakar.
• Mencegah tanda-tanda perut yang merekah untuk wanita hamil.
• Mengeringkan luka.
• Melegakan kesakitan payudara bagi ibu-ibu menyusu.
• Membersihkan kemaluan wanita selepas haid
• Sesuai untuk scrub badan (lulur)
• Demam *
• Gangguan gastrik * 
• Cirit-birit *

*Kacau dalam air suam dan diminum

Khasiat-khasiat di atas adalah berdasarkan maklumbalas dan testimoni daripada pengguna-pengguna yang telah menggunakan produk ini, sejak tahun 1970-an.

Penulis telah diberikan bedak Sejuk Tabloq untuk mencuba dan walaupun ragu-ragu pada mulanya, saya memutuskan untuk berbuat demikian. Selepas menggunakannya selama 2 malam sebagai masker sebelum tidur, saya dapat melihat hasil yang ketara (lihat gambar di atas).

Saya seorang yang gemar bermain golf dan menghabiskan banyak masa di bawah sinar matahari. Walaupun saya selalu membuat facial menggunakan kosmetik moden, namun kulit saya kelihatan bertompok-tompok.  Alhamdullillah, dengan bedak Sejuk Tabloq, kulit saya terasa licin dan tidak lagi bertompok-tompok. 

Saya kini merancang untuk menggunakan Bedak Sejuk Tabloq untuk lulur badan dan lihat  sendiri bagaimana hasilnya. Saya akan share dalam blog ini!

The Twilight Years

It seemed like just yesterday that dear mum, aged 82, was still able to walk, albeit rather slowly.  Now, all of a sudden, it appears that she is going downhill pretty fast!

She is now unable to perform even the basic act of getting out of bed without help.  Her strength has suddenly gone, she is totally dependent on others to get by.  This must be frustrating for one who has always been an independent, fiesty lady.  She braved a divorce at a "young" age (thirties) and single-handedly raised three daughters who have grown up to be successful adults.

She is still mentally alert and her face belies her age but just does not have the strength to carry out the basics of day-to-day living.  Just where did it all disappear?  Ageing is an ongoing process but is there a point when there is a step change in the person's ability?  I seem to think so and that point is now in mum's case.

As I watch this transformation taking place, I cannot help but wonder when would this step change occur for me?  Seventies...eighties?  

Confessions of a Shoe-Bagholic

Imelda Marcos' Shoe Collection...she had 724 Pairs!

If I like a handbag, I'd buy them in all available colors!

There was a time when I'd go ga-ga everytime I receive a notice in the mail regarding an upcoming ISETAN Sale. It would usually start on a Friday for members only where additional discounts are offered over and above the advertised discounted price.

Sometimes, I even applied for leave that Friday so that I'd be the early ones (because these sales on Fridays were usually PACKED and car parks would be full too)! Although I noticed that the same items were offered for sale again and again....it did not matter...as long as it's a SALE. The newer items are regularly priced so we would be rummaging through items that we've seen at the last sale....and there's a sale every few months.....but who cares....so long as it's a sale, we must buy!

My favs are shoes and handbags. I have them in various colors to match...if I like a bag in a certain color, then I'd make sure I'd also buy a pair of shoes to match. Did I really get to use all the shoes that I owned (at one time I had about 35 pairs)? Yes, some more than others. For work I usually stuck to the "safe" basic colors like black, brown, white, red, blue, etc. but for social outings, I'd make sure I use the other colors like orange, pink, purple, green, etc. Every night, I would prepare for the next day's wardrobe to work and made sure that if I changed to another handbag, I did not leave my keys behind!

Today, I have given away most of the shoes and handbags because as a retiree where would I go in a pair of green shoes with matching handbag? Also, my "knee-monia" can no longer take walking in a 2-inch stiletto heel. My shoes nowadays are mostly flip flops and slightly heeled Mary Janes for walking and, of course, my golf shoes!  At one time, I owned 17 pairs of golf shoes but one by one, some had to be discarded due to under-use (they just fall apart)!

Nowadays, I don't even bother to read any sales brochure that I receive from ISETAN...they are consigned immediately to the trash can!

If I count all the money that I had spent on shoes/handbags in my 32-years working career...it'll be quite a tidy sum but it's interesting how one's perspectives towards material things change with age...at least for me. Now, I'm just thankful for my health and to be able to enjoy golf with friends.

Now, every time before I purchase a discretionary item, I'd ask myself "do I really NEED this"?. The answer is always "NO"!  See what a little self-discipline can do for you?